From: Silvia ( -18.104.22.168)
Subject: seeing an animal grieve (sensitive)
Date: July 30, 2011 at 5:08 am PST
First I would like to say "HI JO!" - I haven't been here in awhile and I would also like to say "hi" to anyone who doesn't know me but who may want to get to know me after they read what I have written.
I am a very sentitive person especially when it comes to animals. I work late nights now and this morning I was on my way home around 5 am. On my way home this morning, in my somewhat rural neighborhood, I noticed a rabbit partially in the road and then noticed a dead animal in the street that looked like it had been killed very recently. The rabbit scattered off the road but not too far as they usually do. When I noticed the dead animal I wondered if it was another rabbit since that other rabbit seemed to be staying close and rabbits don't eat other animals so I know it wasn't interested in eating it. Since rabbits are so fast, it is very RARE to see one killed on the road. I have cared for three special rabbits in my life who I have loved like daughters so I feel a special connection to rabbits. I could not help but turn around in my car to find out if it was a rabbit that was killed on the road. There were no other cars around. When I did pass, I did see that it was a rabbit because the ears and face were there but the body was totally mutilated. Again, I saw the other live rabbit on the side of the road. OMG - when I saw the other rabbit still there, I know that they must have been related or close companions for the other rabbit to STILL be around as if she was trying to get to the other rabbit. This is causing me so much pain right now and I can't stop crying (even wailing), thinking of this poor bunny who just lost her daughter or mother or sister or mate or friend. All I could do is pray but I wish so much that I could do something - I wish there was some way I could comfort that little bunny that is still alive looking for her friend or knowing that her friend is now gone. Maybe I am projecting my human emotions onto the rabbit that is still living but I remember when I had two rabbits that were sisters, and when one of the sisters died, the other was so "depressed" - she just wasn't the same (but when I got the thrid rabbit who was young the older one suddenly "came alive" again! - it was wonderful!). So maybe I am thinking of that experience. I wonder if the live rabbit understands that her mate is dead, does she understand? Does she know she is not coming back and she is now alone? For me, this seems harder than seeing humans grieve because I know humans have some understanding. I wonder what this little rabbit is going through and the thought that she may not understand makes things worse - makes me more upset.
I am having such a hard time dealing with this I can't stop crying. I know it is because I am going though alot of other difficult and trying times in my life right now and have been very depressed, so I am sure that is why this is affecting me so much - more than it probably would if my life was going great now and I was happy instead of depressed. I just needed somewhere to talk about this where I know there are other people like me who love animals and can understand how I feel. This is the only place I can come where I feel this way. And, come to think of it, since I have been feeling so lonely, I probably should come here more often so I will feel less lonely. Lately, I just have been feeling that I am so different that I don't even belong in this world. But I know on this board there are others who are like me and just writing this makes me think that getting reconnected would be very good for me at this time.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you Jo and VegSource for giving me a place to come when there is no where else for me to go.
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