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From: ellie ( -
Subject: sl;ightly different angle, same conclusion
Date: August 3, 2009 at 8:49 am PST

In Reply to: treating people to food posted by Leslie on July 29, 2009 at 3:47 pm:

Here is my question: do these kids not have parents? Who elected you the Bank of Mom and Dad?

as for the 4-H thing, I believe kids need to be resourceful and figure out how to do their own projects, including getting the funding. That is part of the "building independence" part of the project. Otherwise, it is the boy's parents' responsibility to fund their son's enterprises. Unless your daughter is actually engaged to this boy and he is about to become a permanent part of your family, I do not believe you are called upon to do this kind of thing, meat-involved or not. You have your own kids to educate and provide for. And if you are treating him as if he were a fiance and not just a boyfriend...well, depending on how old your daughter is, you could be giving her some messages about boundaries in relationships that you may want to think through.

I also think teens are old enough to fund their own leisure, and eating out is "leisure", not "nutritional support". I wouldn't necessarily fund trips out at all, except if my kid gets an allowance and wants to use part of that allowance to go out with friends, fine. That's "leisure spending". I sure am not in the business of funding other kids' recreation, except on very special occasions.

What I would do is encourage my kids to bring friends home. I don't mind keeping healthy, vegan food around, having the kids in the kitchen, giving cooking lessons. Without preaching, it introduces kids to a better way of eating; more important, I know where my kid is, with whom, doing what. I'd rather be the mom everyone comes and talks to. I don't mind a bit of extra grocery expense - after all, that way I'm deciding what foods come in my house. And I am not policing or dictating what others order to eat that way - they can eat what's in my house, or not, as they choose; but I have not had any kids turn down my vegan brownies!

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