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From: min (66-188-220-184.dhcp.roch.mn.charter.com)
Subject: does sadness mean there's something wrong with me?
Date: November 2, 2005 at 12:35 pm PST

Aside from the possibility that I may be suffering from what the medical community would call depression, is it possible that maybe it's perfectly natural and normal to feel such strong sadness?

I've gradually become very sad, so sad that I don't look forward to anything. I don't have any ambition and I've seriously tried to think of something to strive for. I think of dying alot. I wish of dying a natural death. But then, even that, I wonder if that's the answer. Maybe not. The relationships in my life do anything but give me the emotional support I need right now. I don't want money, health, things, romance, high status. Distraction, yes. I want distraction, but is that the answer or does that just ...distract me?

Spiritually speaking, is this getting in the way of me evolving? Or is this a sign that I'm evolving? Society ofcourse says I'm a loser. I'm a failure. Success is a person who has ambition, who strives to be the best and who competes, who seeks romance, status, things, money, perfect health, physique.

I do the opposite. I don't think any of those things are healthy and yet, here I am, wishing I'd drop dead. I feel that I have nothing to live for.

Does sadness = spiritual progress? Aren't most people "happy" when they believe they are physically attractive, when they have money and things, etc or at least striving for those things? I'm not striving for those things because I don't feel they are important, spiritually, so why am I so sad?





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