From: Dave (220.127.116.11)
Subject: christian to nihilist?
Date: February 18, 2004 at 11:33 pm PST
Hi, I just stumbled upon this board in searching for answers for a problem i have been having for quite some time. (or rather if it's a problem or not...)
I'm 17 nearly 18 and I have grown up in a good christian home, going to church, learning christianity and "growing in my faith" but for the past months or even year I have gone into a depression. I struggle with all the ideas with christianity and then when i broaden it i struggle to see a point to life itself. I've felt like i was alone and no-one i know, knows of my struggles because i put on a happy face whenever im in public. Recently i found out that all my feelings of futility, doubt, pointlessness can actually be categorized as being a nihilist, in a sense. And i have been reading things written by people with that viewpoint and they seem fine with it. The problem is, it isnt for me, its literally tearing me apart inside because im the type of person who needs answers but proof to back that up as well. I feel like i shouldn't have these nihilist ideas but i do, and i dont know if i should tell anyone or not. Its weird how as soon as i found a name for what i was going through and that others feel exactly the same way i do, my depression has lessened a little but still is very strong. Is there anyone out there that are nihilist in views and live that way? How do you make it through each day when your thinking that everything has no point?
Im sorry this is kind of a rambling and doesnt even have any definite questions mainly because i dont even know what i want to know...but it feels good to be able to say this to someone because its just been bottled up inside of me for too long.