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From:	ellie (204.211.2.254)
Subject:	run. run fast and far. but only after
Date:	December 22, 2008 at 11:27 am PST

In Reply to: Should I stay? posted by kcook on December 8, 2008 at 4:03 pm:

you have gotten all the preparations made. You don't just need a lawyer, or a counselor. Please, please, please, contact the local domestic violence or battered women's shelter in your area. It does not matter one bit that he has mainly broken objects, not you. YET. He's threatened you and he uses violent behavior to control you. You must leave, for your kids' sakes as well as your own; this is an insane environment for them to grow up in. But you will be in grave danger, and for that reason, you need the coaching of professionals who know how to get away from an abuser (yes, that IS what he is) as safely as possible. I have worked with battered women for many years. You need to be calm, patient and crafty, and learn how to prepare and care for yourself and the kids. When you go, you must really go. And never never look back.

Find homes for your pets, as soon as you can. He'll hurt them to hurt you, and you likely won't be able to take them with you when you get out. Get them to safety. The pound will kill them. But you can find them a safe home; call a no-kill rescue, tell them the situation and beg. I take lots of animals in danger situations.

Build your supports. have you close friends, people in your church you can trust? You will need them. Join a women's group if you can. Find a counselor for yourself, for the support.
good luck. be strong. you can do this. This is not a marriage, it's a nightmare, and no God will expect you and your kids to live like this.

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