Awkward situation with my work review...

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From: Cedar (cache-dtc-ac03.proxy.aol.com)
Subject: Awkward situation with my work review...
Date: January 7, 2007 at 8:39 pm PST

I work in a technical field, for a large company, in which reviews are written up on a yearly basis. I've been with my company for a long time, and with my current division over 5 years. In 5 years, I've had 4 different bosses, due to company *reorganizations* (layoffs). With each new boss, it feels that there's a period of proving myself, of letting them get to know what my work ethic is, as well as my knowledge base.

With my current boss, it's been about 2.5 years. On my 1st review under him, the write-up was nice, complimentary, positive, and the overall rating of the 4 possible choices (fail to meet, meet, exceed, consistently exceed) was that I *meet* expectations... I was surprised at that point that I wasn't rated as an *exceed*, but felt I would prove myself to him over the next year. With my strong work ethic, tenure in the dept, willingness and ability to train co-workers, and overall knowledge of the job, I was shocked when my next review was again scored the same way. I talked with Boss, and was told he felt the scoring was accurate, and he then admitted that of all of his direct reports, he'd spent the least amount of time with me, and hadn't gotten to know me, and therefor wasn't truly aware of the details of my projects. He even said there was 1 specific project that I should focus on that would help in my 2006 review, and when I reminded him that I'd already worked on that project and left the results in a folder on his desk, he said that he recalled the folder, but hadn't had a chance to examine the contents.

I was disheartened, and consider leaving the division, but then in the midst of my disappointment, I decided that I would work diligently to prove myself over the course of 2006, so that there would be no way to deny me the next grade up on my review, which also affects my raise, in 2006. Meanwhile, the only other person in our small dept who's been there the same length of time as I have been has been receiving the next level up on her reviews, and was then promoted to the next position up - and she came to me to say she was shocked that she would be promoted over me, and had expected either I'd be promoted, or we would be together. She's tough, and outspoken, and frequently gives Boss a piece of her mind, loud enough for many of us to overhear.
So, this brings us to 2006. I just received my yearly review, and my boss told me that I'd had an *incredible year*, had no errors in any of my projects, he recognized that I'd assisted my newer co-workers, had met with clients to assist them in understanding our dept's needs, had *saved his ass on a number of occasions*, he thanked me for *being his friend*, told me he appreciated my volunteering for the 3 separate committees within the dept, as no one else would come forward and these meant a great deal to the VP, said I did an excellent job when I agreed to test pilot new software for the division, as well as commit to a 2 month long job sharing program, in which I worked in another dept and ours simultaneously, while performing both jobs and working both sets of hours, etc... he then told me this year's review was far different than last's... and when I turned the page for my overall rating, you guessed it, it was the exact same - I meet what is expected of me.

OK, so I told him I am completely frustrated, that I don't understand the review process, and asked if he was aware of the disparity across the division as far as how reviews and promotions are handled - and he admitted that he's quite aware, and that he feels I'm held to a different standard than some other co-workers, and I'm far more knowledgeable and a better worker than they are.

I feel like the main problem here is that I'm rather shy, and HATE having to stand up for myself... but this seems crazy to me... so, the VP, a woman known for being hard as nails, and a bit rough around the edges, and whom is feared and disliked by most of my co-workers has always been very nice and friendly towards me. She stopped by my desk to see how I was doing twice last Friday - and I finally decided to ask to talk with her. I explained, without badmouthing my boss, of my frustration, and of my overall confusion, as my review has 10 categories - 6 of which are now scored as *exceeds*, and 4 as *achieves*, (you do the math), but with an overall rating of achieves. She said she's actually spoken to my boss about me, and has been confused for a while as to how my paperwork comes in, but that as I'd never spoken up, she thought there was more to the picture than she was aware of. She said she agrees that my review is graded incorrectly, and that she is aware of how involved I've been in the division, and feels I should be recognized for my contributions. She asked that on Tuesday, when I meet with Boss for our schedules appt to discuss my yearly review, I ask him for a final explanation, and if he still doesn't change the rating, for me to say I won't sign the review, and ask to take it to her to discuss... after which, she'll call him in and decided her plan of action.

I feel like I'm about to make things very uncomfortable for myself by refusing to sign my review... and am dreading Tuesday's meeting. Any words of advice???