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From: cook (163-11-184-208.dsl.lan2wan.com)
Hi guys, I'm saying hi after lurking for a while... I feel like I need to reach out for help. I've been stuck in such a destructive mode for a long while, two years. I discovered veganism in 1999 or so, researched it a little, found Dr. McDougall on this website and bought the book. Since I had quite a bit of weight to lose, I kept to his diet for the following two years. I lost weight, but extremely slowly... but I did. But then, I remember that it was shortly before my Birthday in late 2001, I decided I'd give myself permission to eat anything for my Birthday, and with that, my successful days on McDougall were over. I went on an all-out binge and it seemed like I needed to make up for the "lost" two years by eating everything I couldn't before. At first, that was only vegan food, but over time I even left that mental barrier behind, plunging into ice cream, cookies etc. Needless to say, I gained more weight in 6 months than I'd lost in 2 years before that. Unhappy as I was, and after trying for months and months to get back to McDougalling and failing, I looked around for another way to bring my eating, as well as my weight, under control. For some reason - maybe because it was 100% different - I ended up on Atkins. Full-out on meat, fat, etc. again. That's the scenario of the past two years. I'd eat Atkins, then binge on sweets, then go back to Atkins, in a cycle of every few weeks at least, if not more often. Even though I was never hungry on Atkins (fat keeps you full), for some reason I just wasn't able to stay on it for any length of time! So I had cut out virtually all vegetables (except lettuce and salad), and was alternating between meat/cooked veg meals and binges on sugar. Miserable. Gained even more. Today, I'm the fattest I've ever been, and I'm disgusted. I've looked into raw eating before, but somehow, never gave it a fair trial. One reason for that is that I never lived close enough to a supermarket to haul so much food home (haven't owned a car until recently) and always lived with roommates, which prevented me from taking over the entire fridge for myself. I'm living with roommates now, too, and fridge space is extremely limited. I didn't, and don't, have much money, nor any of those fancy appliances such as dehydrator, vitamix etc. I want to tell you that I really want control back. I've tried and failed to get back into McDougall. I do remember that I felt in control, though hungry, when I was on that. I know that so many people feel better on raw foods, and my body certainly has a lot of healing to do now, after the last two years of excess. I'm just scared to fail yet again. I want to do this. Any tips, encouragement...? I've put these boards into my Favorites, and I'll be around. Thanks!
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