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From: julie (24.154.126.120)
Subject:         what comes first?
Date: April 19, 2013 at 3:25 pm PST

Somehow I have been horribly out of control, binge eating with no abandon and no schedule. I've been having lots of caffeine too. I'm not doing anything else in my life so sometimes I even eat in the middle of the night and I've been very sedentary as its almost impossible to exercise or move with that much food in the stomach. I am worried and scared that Im damaging myself beyond repair yet cant seem to stop. I am not on 811, I've been eating pretty much any food except for meat. Crazy combinations and amounts, no compensation for it with exercise etc. I have caused candida, extreme stomach distension from the food inside and lots of fat gain among other problems with my sinuses, poor sleep, and constant sweating. How can I gain control? I try to recommit but mess up again and again. I try to have caffeine and green juice and water to balance but I don't make it long. I cant really be hungry, I am overweight and overfat and constantly eating. I know candida causes cravings and so do addictive foods and probably excessive caffeine. I am embarrassed and scared yet in a drug like daze from the opiods in the grains and dairy and also from the chocolate and caffeine. I am dehydrated and feeling so sick. I cant seem to get a grip. I keep saying its the worst rock bottom, but let myself fall further. Do I go on a juice fast to let my stomach catch up? Do I push and try to force a schedule? Do I quit the foods first and go straight to 811 though the fruit currently makes the candida worse? Do I quit caffeine first? Slowly or all at once? I need to get stable with something, anything so that I don't die. I am hurting physically and also emotionally from doing this to myself for no reason. I want to exercise and live properly and I feel better when I make small changes, but this has been a full week of bingeing. 8 days straight. Monday Wednesday and Friday last week then sunday through Wednesday. Yesterday I finally did a bit better but today I went off the deep end again. Ive gained so much weight in a short time and don't know how to get control. does anyone have a suggestion? I really want to be well and I believe in this diet. I see how caffeine and drug like foods make me ill and I want to be free.

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