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From:	heidi jane (71.168.226.235)
Subject:	Re: Abstinence from Overt Fats, Heidi
Date:	February 11, 2012 at 2:25 pm PST

In Reply to: Re: Abstinence from Overt Fats, Heidi posted by Just Me on February 11, 2012 at 12:28 pm:

thank you for your caring thoughtful post
i will work more on practicing those 7 spiritual virtues repeatedly over and over till i'm almost perfectly 'there' on em :)

are you definitely going to culinary skills???

i was seriously gonna go to costa rica walkin tour, but then felt unwanted unwelcomed there for reasons... and then was also told lots sunbathe totally in the.... publicly as that was the norm among the group and that just made me feel all very uncomfortable and shy and something i just did not want to be apart of and witness and so am now wondering what they do at culinary skills week that i might feel uncomfortable about....
i wonder if they were just joking about the public n...de sunbathing???? i seriously believed em though

there were lots at festival who were gung ho on 811rv and afterwards strayed far away from it. there were just sooo many people of different backgrounds and ideals, morales there that it just overwhelmed me and i'm just stunned that lots took the time and money to come without an open mind and thus outwardly on purpose had to say and do things to ruin it for someone else. dr. g's fitness classes were very nice and planned out nicely and he had very good intentions, but cause of my different athletic background and size, his classes left me unfullfilled and frustrated. he sensed, saw this and so personally took time out to come over and help, challenge me differently which i very muchly appreciated and i also felt same way about the other fitness classes of others there also. there was also those who left festival to go buy their own produce as they brought it back to festival and ate it in front of others and they openly said that they were dissatisfied with the fruits of the festival.they trash talked 811rv to others also...??? i don't understand this behavior, didn't like and tried to ignore, steer clear of them. unfortunately, i tried, but didn't really 'connect' to anyone in particular there... i talked to lots but it was just surface and artificial as so many had so many cement walls in front of em u could say....
i hesitate greatly about travellin sheer across the u.s. to dr. g's events and feelin same and then feelin 'stuck' and feelin like i can't wait till over all over again... :/ loooooong siiiiigh..

all this talk and feelings i'm doin is stressin me out greatly and bringin up unsettling emotions... i don't want to think of it anymore and am gonna take a big breather, break from everyone and everything for looooong time and spend time alone just busying myself with other interests....
thanks again and bye for now

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