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| From: | Bunny (d161-184-113-191.abhsia.telus.net)
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| Subject: | 9yr old won't keep herself clean |
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Date: | June 3, 2007 at 10:16 pm PST |
I live with my fiancé who has children from a previous relationship. His nine year old daughter spends one weekend a month with us and we always have problems with her keeping herself clean regarding the toilet.
She will often reek of urine, wet the bed and is more often than not on medication for a bladder infection.
I've talked to my fiancé about taking her to the doctor about the problem but he says that this has been a problem since the day they started potty training her.
He has tried talking to the girl's mother and claims that the mother only yells at the girl to wipe herself. No measures at home have been taken to correct the problems (no bed wetting alarms, no corrective medication or talk therapy, etc) and it is only when the girl becomes sick from her uncleanliness that she is taken to the doctor to get medication.
The mother is convinced this is normal behavior and just buys the girl "Pull-Ups" to wear; but only when the girl wants to wear them.
We have tried explaining to the daughter that because she doesn't wipe herself, bacteria grow in the moisture not wiped up by toilet paper and this is what causes her to smell like pee and to have bladder infections all the time.
That doesn't work.
We make her get out of bed and help us change the sheets because they smell like urine. She is then made to get in the shower, clean herself and the help with laundry.
That doesn't work.
She is constantly being asked if she has to pee and when she comes back from the bathroom is reminded to wipe herself and wash her hands.
That doesn't work. Nothing works.
Since we only see her for a weekend a month we have no influence on her because at home she does what she pleases. When she is at home, wearing "Pull-Ups" at night time is optional.
The mother won't look after this issue as she is convinced this behavior is normal the girl will out grow it. The girl doesn't seem to mind always being sick or smelling of pee. She is embarrassed to talk about her problem but won't wipe herself. I know this because it's a rare occasion to have her flush the toilet.
As the stepmother, what can I do? I am powerless and this is taking a huge toll on my relationship. How do I get this kid to keep clean? ... Even if it is for just one weekend a month ...
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