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| From: | wilddove (dsl-44-207.dsl.netsource.ie)
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| Subject: | Re: my first son was three |
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Date: | July 18, 2006 at 3:49 pm PST |
In Reply to: Re: my first son was three posted by melanie on July 7, 2006 at 6:59 am:
I would be very careful of corressponding toilet training with timeouts especially if you use timeouts as your usual form of discipline.
I am a teacher for children of your sons agegroup, and at this age it is essential to be very supportive of these developmental stages and also to have clear consistent discipline. It seems he is doing BM in pull up not as a 'naughty' behaviour so in the long run it could get confusing for him.
Especially as from your latest update you are now letting him use pull ups just for BMs this is sending very confusing mixed messages. And ultimately he is still getting to do what he wants i.e. not use toilet for BMs
I would advise as he is now 4 years old, so well within age ready to use toilet. All children are ready at different ages. I have had children from 21/2 never having an accident to the 4year olds having a mishap here and there.
It seems he is ready and capable but doesnt really want to leave behind the pull ups, perhaps this is because of younger sibling, at an unconscious or conscious level, he is maybe feeling daunted by being a big boy, after all babies require more attention.
Try without the pull ups, go to the store and buy some new big boy pants (underwears) let him choose make a big deal about what a big boy he is and how great it is all the cool things big boys can do. If you know approx times he needs to BM then ask him to try on toilet. Or to tell you when he needs to go. Maybe do a chart on wall so each day he gets a sticker if he went on toilet for bm.He'll see his progress and feel proud.
I think it is important you take the big step and get rid of the pull ups, and dont go back to them, because if u do the odd day it is just confusing for him.
He is a 'big boy' now and you are the parents so you really are in control of this, it sounds like he knows when he is gonna go (as he asks for pull ups on) so its unlikely he will have many accidents or cant control when he BMs
Gentle reminders to check the toilet help prevent accidents, usually after meals or snacks and drinks and before bed and when get up etc.
Good Luck, I am sure you can accomplish this, it will be good as also most schools expect them to be trained at this age and should not be expected to change pull ups ( yes if there is an accident they will) but not on a daily basis.
Also please remember not to use discipline punishments when toilet training it is a sensitive developmental stage for child and like i said you need to be clear so punishing him for using the pull up for BM or any accidents not good idea at all.
Take Care
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