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From: John(HI) (
Subject:         Quotes from Resumes
Date: October 3, 2011 at 2:46 pm PST

~ "I can tweet while driving."
~ "I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."
~ "Qualifications: No education or experience."
~ "Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5"."
~ "Fired because I fought for lower pay."
~ "My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
~ "Please disregard the enclosed resume -- it is terribly out of date."
~ "Finished 10th in my high school graduating class of 12."
~ "I can ride my bike with no handlebars."
~ "All my friends on Facebook think I should get this job."
~ "Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."

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