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From: John(HI) (98.155.171.237)
Subject:         Resume Mistakes...
Date: August 22, 2011 at 3:28 pm PST


Qualifications:

"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
"Education: College, August 1895--May 1999."
"Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."
"Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget."
"I'm a rabid typist."
"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation."

Reasons For Leaving Previous Job:

"Responsibility makes me nervous."
"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions."
"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
"Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches."
"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."

Personal Qualities:

"I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs."
"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."
"Number of dependents: 40."
"Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."
"I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award"

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