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From: John(HI) (
Subject:         Paraprosdokian
Date: September 5, 2010 at 4:06 pm PST

A paraprosdokian (from Greek "παρα-", meaning "beyond" and
"προσδοκία", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect,sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely
popular among comedians and satirists. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.

Ř I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Ř The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ř If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Ř We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ř Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ř Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Ř I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Ř Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

Ř I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ř I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on I said "Implants?"

Ř Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ř You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ř The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ř I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be
devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Ř There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

Ř When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ř You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ř To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ř Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ř A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

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