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From: John(HI) (66.91.205.63)
Subject:         Golf-isms
Date: May 17, 2009 at 6:30 pm PST

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the
ball and hit it with the shadow.
~ Sam Snead

A hungry dog hunts best.
~ Lee Trevino

You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen.
~ Lee Trevino

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and
one over a swimming pool.
~ George Brett

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to
kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
~ Jim Murray

The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart
never has to play the bad lie.
~ Mickey Mantle

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if
you're not good at them
~ Kevin Costner

I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those
three-footers for par.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to
play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my
caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later
with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out
of the tree.
~ Brian Weis

Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Dan Marino

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded
putt. The rest can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and
you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are
two different games, one played in the air, and the other
on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20%
of the time, you're the best
~ Jack Nicklaus

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's
almost a law.
~ H G Wells

I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers
my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's
recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
~ Bob Hope

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on
a rake.
~ Henny Youngman

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up
the wrong golf ball.
~ Jack Lemmon

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my
ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their
husbands work.
~ Lee Trevino

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew
tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino

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