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From: John(HI) (
Subject:         Saint Kerry (political)
Date: March 20, 2009 at 5:54 pm PST

On a Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D. C., Senator John
Kerry's spokesman visited the Cardinal of the Catholic
Cathedral. He told the Cardinal that John Kerry would be
attending the next day's sermon, and he asked if the
Cardinal would kindly point out Kerry to the congregation
and say a few words that would include calling Kerry a

The Cardinal replied, "No. I
don't really like the man, and there are issues of
conflict with the Catholic Church over a certain number of
Kerry's views."

Kerry's spokesman then said,
"Look. I'll write a check here and now for a
donation of $100,000 to your church if you'll just tell
the congregation you see Kerry as a saint."

The Cardinal thought about it and
said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll
work your request into tomorrow's sermon."

As Kerry's campaign spokesman
promised, Senator Kerry appeared for the Sunday sermon and
seated himself prominently at the edge of the main isle.
And, during the sermon, as promised, the Cardinal pointed
out that Senator Kerry was present.

Then the Cardinal went on to explain
to the congregation, "While Senator Kerry's
presence is probably an honor to some, he is not my favorite
person. Some of his views are contrary to those of the
church, and he tends to flip-flop on many other views. John
Kerry is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker,
and a nit-wit. John Kerry is also a serial liar, a cheat,
and a thief. John Kerry is the worst example of a Catholic
I have ever personally witnessed. He turned on his buddies
in Vietnam. He wrote a book and portrayed himself in the
best light when he was a traitor to his fellow servicemen.
He has lied about his military record and had the gall to
put himself in for a medal (including one that does not even
exist). He married for money and is using it to lie to the
American people. He also has a reputation for shirking his
senatorial obligations both here, in Washington, and in
Massachusetts. He simply is not to be trusted."

The Cardinal completed his view of
Kerry with, "But, when compared to Senator Ted Kennedy,
Senator Kerry is a saint."

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