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From: John(HI) (66.91.205.104)
Subject:         Revised Financial Terms
Date: October 13, 2008 at 5:49 pm PST

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no nookie.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BROKER -- What my financial consultant has made me.

CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

STANDARD & POOR -- My life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

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