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From: John(HI) (
Subject:         When Insults Had Class
Date: June 27, 2008 at 5:41 pm PST

'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.' -- Clarence Darrow

'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.' -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemmingway)

'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.' -- Groucho Marx

'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.' -- Mark Twain

'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.' -- Oscar Wilde

'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.......if you have one.' -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
Followed by Churchill's response 'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one.' -- Winston Churchill

'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' -- Stephen Bishop

'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' -- John Bright

'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.' -- Irvin S. Cobb

'He is not only dull himself, he causes dullness in others.'-- Samuel Johnson

'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.' -- Paul Keating

'He had delusions of adequacy.' -- Walter Kerr

'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?' -- Mark Twain

'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.' -- Mae West

'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.' -- Oscar Wilde

Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a dinner party, 'Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!'
Winston replied, 'Madam, if I were your hsband I would drink it!'
Lady Astor looked at Churchill and said, 'Sir, you are drunk!'
Churchill replied, 'And Madam, you are ugly. At least in the morning I will be sober.'

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