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From: Bigdaddy3k (
Subject:         The note
Date: June 23, 2008 at 1:01 pm PST

A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that
his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow, that was addressed to
"Mom". With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling
hands and read the letter.

Dear Mom,:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had
to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so
nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her
piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is
much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Mom she's
pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in
the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a
dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't
really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it
with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the
meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy
can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how
to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit
so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your Son Jon

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.

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