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From: anonymous (
Subject:         New element discovered
Date: November 13, 2006 at 7:30 am PST


A major research institution has just announced the
discovery of the densest element yet known to
science. The new element has been named
"Bushcronium." Bushcronium has one neutron, 12
assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass
of 311. These particles are held together by dark
forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
The symbol for Bushcronium is "W". Bushcronium's
mass actually increases over time, as morons
randomly interact with various elements in the
atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a
Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes. This
characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as "Critical Morass". When catalyzed
with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an
element that radiates orders of magnitude more
energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has 1/2
as many peons but twice as many morons.

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