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From: John(HI) (cpe-204-210-112-159.hawaii.res.rr.com)
Subject:         A couple of "Old Lady" jokes (been around before)
Date: August 14, 2006 at 3:24 pm PST

A guy shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old
lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped.
Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she
turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you
feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like
my late son." He answered, "That's okay." "I know it's
silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I
leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout ... and as she was
on her way out of the store, the man called out,
"Goodbye, Mother."
The little old lady waved and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into
someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk. "How come so
much? I only bought 5 items.."
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd
pay for her things, too."

DO NOT TRUST LITTLE OLD LADIES
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
One morning the husband returns after several hours of
fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not
familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the
boat out.. She motors out a short distance, anchors,
and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up
alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am.
What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies,
(thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm
reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know
you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you
in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual
assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game
warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all
I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice
day ma'am," and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely
she can also think

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