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From: Jeff (
Subject:         He's a saint
Date: February 2, 2006 at 9:15 am PST

President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Methodist Church outside Washington as part of his campaign. Karl Rove made a visit to the Bishop and said to him, "With all our bad publicity among Methodists because of Bush's position on stem cell research and the like, we'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd just say the President is a saint."

The Bishop thinks it over for a few moments and agrees.

On Sunday, Bush shows up in full pomp mode, looking smug as usual, and as the sermon progresses the Bishop begins his homily, "George Bush is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and the worst kind of weasel. He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier and parade around before a banner proclaiming 'Mission Accomplished.'

"He chose to invade a country for oil and power, has slaughtered over 100,000 civilians, has not attended a single funeral of an American soldier killed in action and is using the "war" to gain power over the American people. He is the worst example of a Methodist I've ever personally known .... But compared to Dick Cheney, George is a saint!"

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