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From: Iddlecum Tume (
Subject: Exact change
Date: June 22, 2005 at 1:24 pm PST

Pulling up to the toll booth, Jack handed the collector a $100 bill.

Looking incredulously at the bill, the collector, in a snappy tone, exclaimed, "I can't break this! I need exact change only!"
"Come on buddy," Jack pleaded, "can't you give me a break just this once?"

"Nope; can't break the rules. Exact change!" answered the collector.
"While thumbing through the change in his ashtray Jack asked the collector, "Do you really like this job?"

"Well, it's not the best job that I've ever had, but it pays the bills," replied the collector. "What do you do for a living?"
Still counting change and without looking up, Jack said, "I'm a rectum stretcher."

"A what?" asked the collector.
"A rectum stretcher." Jack replied, giving the collector a sideways glance.

"What does a rectum stretcher do?" the collector asked.
"Well, just as the name implies, I stretch rectums," Jack explained setting aside a nickel.

"Wow, is there much call for that kind of work?" the collector asked.
"Oh, you'd be surprised. It's real popular with the upper crust, the high society people, the jet set. It's the newest trend," said Jack.

Pausing for a moment the collector then asked, "Well if you don't mind me asking... I mean, if it's not too personal, how big do you, well you know...?"
"How big do I stretch them?" Jack interrupted. "Most of them, not too big," he continued, "but I have stretched some up to six feet."

"SIX FEET!" the collector exclaimed with eyes wide and jaw slack. "Six Feet!? What is someone going to do with a six-foot as*hole?"
Jack, having counted out the exact change, handed the coins to the collector. Looking him in the eye, Jack answered, "Oh, put it in a toll booth, collecting tolls."

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