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From: John(HI) (
Subject:         Headlines from 2029
Date: September 15, 2007 at 6:21 pm PST

**Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

**Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

**Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

**Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

**Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq , Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

**Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

**France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

**Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

**George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036

**Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

**85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the key to weight loss.

**Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

**Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

**Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

**Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

**Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

**New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

**Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

**IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

**Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

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