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From: ellie ( -199.90.157.4)
Subject: oh, and...
Date: November 4, 2009 at 1:49 pm PST

In Reply to: Re: socializing posted by ellie on November 4, 2009 at 8:44 am:

I just scrolled down to your earlier posts, about dinners out with your hubby...

Here are a couple things to think about: when you and he eat out, what aspects of the experience are most important to each of you?

Sometimes, it may be just about convenience. You're both tired and just don't want to fuss with dinner. Many, if not most, restaurants today will do carry-out if asked, even really upscale places! Then, just swing by your favorite place for your meal, his favorite for his, and you can eat in your favorite armchair or take a picnic to a lovely spot and watch the sunset. The same idea works if it's really about just getting the taste of your (or his) favorite cooking. If it's really about the food, rather than being "out" per se, just do carry out. He can get a satisfying (for him) steak dinner, swing over to a different place and get you something yummy that's vegan.

If it's about being out-of-the-house, or in a special atmosphere and the food is really kinda secondary to that....
you might want to have a bite to eat beforehand, so you won't be ravenous, and have a salad or appetizer and a glass of wine while you enjoy the pleasure of your husband's company without distractions or feeling like the dirty dishes await you. He might be a sport and do the same and go to a place you like now and then. I have found that all Asian, most Mexican and Italian places have dishes that can be made vegan friendly, as well as appealing to non-vegans.

If there is a special place you and he like to go, and you're kinda regulars there, the chef might be delighted to do a vegan dish for you. IF it's a chain you might be a bit limited. Even there, I have learned to smile winningly, compliment the staff for something, anything, and sweetly ask that they make an order of the baked spaghetti with no cheese, please, I really can't have dairy, or you know, I am on a special diet, no, I'll pass on the entree but could you give me a baked potato and two veggies....you get the idea. My mother's favorite spot is a traditional British Isles pub. I got them to make me a vegan version of bubble-and-squeak (potatoes, onions and cabbage) that is delicious. THey'd simply never thought to make it, they had all the ingredients, now they have staff asking for it.

There is always the element of "let's go out because we're bored senseless and want to feel like we've been somewhere different". If that's true for you, you could go out using one of the above methods of getting you both fed, and then spend a bit of time talking a walk, browsing a shop nearby, driving through picturesque area...or if you feel very adventurous, and very comfortable asking restaurant servers to meeet your needs, you could take turns picking out a place to eat you've never been before. Have good snacks at home in case it doesn't turn out well, have a good movie from netflix, and be ready to laugh about it.

Good luck! this will get easier.

Congrats on your improved health. That takes work but it's so worth it.




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