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From:	Hopefay88 (dslb-084-058-211-082.pools.arcor-ip.net)
Subject:	Binge-eating, trying therapy now..
Date:	July 10, 2007 at 10:29 am PST

Hello everyone,

I've got a slight request to ask.. I think I've got an eating disorder: Binge eating. I've been trying hard to lose weight since I was 15. It worked; I was really overweight, 22lbs. And said 22lbs I lost with doing sport, eating healthy and so on. Here I have to comment that none of my "parents" (Well they're divorced since I was a child) actually cares about my emotional development or how they treat me. I'm not getting beaten or something but they show me they don't love me. My mother doesn't care about me (I live with her and her "nice" boyfriend.. geez i hate him really..) and my father's alcoholic.
Anyway, to lose the last stupid pounds I joined Weightwatchers and it worked really well, at a size of 5"5 I have now 149lbs and am slightly overweight... I want to achieve 127-130lbs.
I really feel uncomfortable, exclosed myself from social life, hardly go out anymore and hate myself for having such eating attacks... I tell myself on and on "you'll get over with it don't worry tomorrow your new life starts", but, as everyone of you surely already knows, it never worked.

So I consume large amounts of food and also retreat back to the WWW (I've once been obsessed you could say) and I know it's just totally wrong but I have no clue how things have to get on!!

This is why I went to my doctor because I'm having so many problems; family stuff, private stuff and then my eating behaviour.
I'm just sick of everything and I want to have a "normal" life again... a life I can be happy with, something that makes me want the next day to come, to wake up lucky -- you know what I mean?
My doctor said it'd be better to have a therapy.

As I already had a therapy without any use (I broke up) I really, really hope there will be a change because I'm so fed up now. I just want to scream but I can't. I'm so alone but I think I'm unable to talk to people because of my low self-esteem.
And you know what's the worst with it? Actually I'm buoyant, talk a lot, am happy all the time and just a cheerful person. This is what I want to get back :(.

I'd like it if you share any experiences you made!

Thanks!

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