When I was younger I was always chubby ... but started thinning out as a grew up and started highschool .. all throughout highschool I was a fanatic about my weight ... constantly counting calories, going on diets where I ate 200 calories a day .. If I ever felt like I ate "too much" during one of my diets, I would just force myself to throw it up .. and that's how it started. The summer going into my first yr of college I gained some weight, and lost it by the next winter by dieting and occasionally throwing up ... Once I lost that weight I gained it back plus some more ... Now I've gotten into the habit of throwing up EVERYTHING I eat .. I dont binge eat or anything, and I dont go days w/o eating .. I eat three normal helthy meals a day, but throw them up right after I eat ... At first I thought I would be able to control it and stop after I lost some weight, but now I lost weight and can't seem to stop ... I know it sounds funny but i literally feel like i "gained weight" after EVERY LITTLE thing I eat, and if I don't automatically go throw it up, I feel fat & disgusting until I throw it up, and once I do that, I feel a sense of relief that I was able to eat and get full, but 15 minutes later feel as if I never ate anything at all ... I know I have a problem, but am I bulimic? I am afraid to talk to anyone about it .. I told one of my friends and she just kept reassuring me that i am not fat, but it doesn't seem to matter what anyone else tells me, i feel like if i eat anything w/o throwing it up I will get fat
