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From:	snickers (cache-dtc-ad04.proxy.aol.com)
Subject:	You're not going to like it
Date:	April 20, 2006 at 6:00 am PST

In Reply to: Convincing skeptical husbands to try the diet posted by Molly on April 19, 2006 at 12:03 pm:

I don't think there is any way you can convince someone else to change the way they eat. Eating is such a personal thing, changing the way you eat is something you have to come to on your own, for whatever reasons.

The best thing you can do is try to educate your husband, if he's open to that. Don't change the food, change the way the man thinks about food and health. It's NOT easy, and it might be impossible.

The best "health foods" out there are vegetables, fruits, beans, whole grains and nuts/seeds. The best thing you can do is emphasize those foods in your meal planning and minimize the emphasis on less healthy foods (dairy, meat, and sweets and treats). I've found that not mentioning that these foods are "healthy" works as does making sure it the foods look and taste good.

A wise woman I'm aware of says "Don't make your reasons excuses." Meaning, we all have reasons not to do this, that, or the next thing. But the trick is not to make those reasons for not doing something excuses as for why we didn't do something. You're making your husband your excuse for not shaping up your eating. When you make him your excuse, you're also making him responsible -- and he's not responsible at all for what you eat! You are not responsible for his choices; he is not responsible for yours.

Your husband's belief that there's nothing wrong with eating snacks and treats all day long isn't uncommon. In fact, it's very common. It's also exactly what's responsible for our epidemic levels of obesity, heart disease, diabetes (and its complications including kidney failure and the need for dialysis), cancer and so on. When we feel entitled to eat badly, we also are entitled to the results of eating badly: poor health and disease.

This morning I was going through some papers and found this scribbled in a notebook: Poor health is not a natural consequence of aging.

But it will be if we continue to do what we've always done. If your husband doesn't want the future that his parents have, he's got to do something different.

Several wise people have said "It isn't what you do once in a while that's a problem; it's what you do all the time." Eating treats and junk food now and again probably isn't going to make you sick and unhealthy. Eating them all the time will.

Okay, all of this is probably nothing you don't already know. When I started all of this, my family was very resistant, to the point of not eating what I cooked. I kept getting healthier, and they were getting fatter and less healthy. My example DID NOT work.

What I finally did was look at everyone's likes and dislikes and my needs (at the time I was the only one with any special dietary needs) and came up with an eating plan that worked for everyone. I eliminated as many refined and processed foods as I could, concentrated on plant foods and minimized animal foods, added fats, and so on.

I'm not attempting any kind of dietary perfection for myself or my family. First, it doesn't exist (ask 100 people and you'll get 100 different answers, and all might be at least partially right). Second, the goal is progress, not perfection. Third, there are no guarantees. It's highly likely, even probable, that health will be improved and obesity and the likelihood of heart disease, diabetes, cancer and other diseases will be minimized or eliminated by dietary change, but it's not guaranteed. It's danged good, cheap insurance, though!

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