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From: Claudine (cache-rtc-aa03.proxy.aol.com)
In Reply to: Re: Hi, Claudine!... posted by Camilla on June 1, 2005 at 11:22 pm:
You are reading! I can recommend one book I am LOVING right now! The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama. Its not on Buddhism, but the Buddhist perspective on the basic purpose of life, to be happy. It explains the difference between pleasure and happiness and how they are NOT the same. I just read on relationships and how they are doomed if they are based on romance. It made it very clear to me why and how relationships need to have a basis of compassion-a sense of commitment, respondsiblity and mutual respect toward one another. So now I understand why I am not happy with Eric and why I get anxious and tense around him. Now I know that it cannot work. He is warm and loving, but he doesn't have the compassion and respect that is the basis of a good relationship. Its ironic since he's vegan, but that doesn't mean that he understands compassion in relationships and communication. Therefore, discussing things become arguementative since he is looking at it without empathy to my needs, and from the viewpoint of his pleasure and self interest. Even though we have a lot of similar interests, the true friendship is not there I've realized. So now I know that compassion is the key to relationships and communication. Its something that I'm working on and will for the rest of my life. I rarely get into arguements with people and rarely have problems getting along, and I think that is why. But its interesting since they suggest that its learned. I did not grow up in a very compassionate family, yet I always think of how another person feels and can feel their pain and struggles and feel bad if I don't. But when I do so, I do get a great deal of happiness out of understanding and trying to help out....and it may just be as simple as helping an old lady in a grocery store. I understand what she if feeling and sometimes really little things can make a huge difference in another's life. I guess I'm rambling, but I'm so tired today! I've been reading nonstop and working. Congrats on your thesis....you are really busy!!!! BTW, to meditate, lotus position is not really important. Most westerners cannot sit in that position. Some even sit in a chair if they have too! Whatever position you take, it should be comfortable. You should not feel pain or have body parts fall asleep. Even though that will eventually happen, lol! And if you read something interesting, please post it! I would love to hear what you've learned.
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