Vegan Deli

Vegan Deli  by Jo Stepaniak

Click here to learn more

Order this book!

 

 

Raising Vegetarian Children
by Jo Stepaniak, M.S.Ed., & Vesanto Melina M.S., R.D.

Raising Vegetarian Children

Click here to learn more

Order this book!

 
     

Veganism and Dating

Last September I ended a five-year relationship that had been mostly long-distance for the past three years. It had been my first serious relationship, and I had done no dating in earnest previous to that. My perspective is therefore a little limited, but on the other hand, being single gives me lots of time to ponder the subject. I think the biggest reason I ended the relationship, which was comfortable, was that it wasn't enough. I realized that I wasn't truly in love, and I wanted more out of life. This came after a slow process of being more and more honest with myself. That honesty continued, and it got me started on my yoga practice and prepared me to confront the issue of vegetarianism when that came up in my yoga studies. Just as I wanted to set aside the dichotomy between "comfortable with boyfriend but I want more," I came to want to set aside the dichotomy between "tastes good but an animal died to get it here."

Even before I became a vegetarian, I had come to realize that I was fairly particular about what I wanted in a romantic relationship. I am not, by nature, a casual dater. I have had one lover in my life and do not regret leaving him behind, but I know that the next one may be a while coming. The gift of true intimacy -- physical, emotional, and spiritual -- is not something I want to share with someone just because he happens to be there at the right time. I am a fairly solitary person, and I find comfort and strength in that solitude. It has to be the right person for me to want to give that up.

Now that I am a vegan, I feel that I would be very unlikely to form a lifelong, romantic bond with someone who still eats meat. Even though I am still new to veganism, I am already developing a greater and greater aversion to the sight and smell of meat. How will it be when I have become used to my new way of life and I try to share it with someone who still eats products of death? How much love would it take to overcome that extreme discomfort? Would I want to kiss him if he's just eaten a rack of spare ribs? I don't want to worship anyone, but I do want to be able to admire the person I spend my life with. Would I be able to truly admire a husband who continues to eat meat?

Eating and lovemaking are both such sacred, life-renewing acts, and as I become more aware and pure in the one, I also want more awareness and purity in the other. If I am so particular about what clothing covers my body and what food goes into my mouth, isn't it just the other side of the same coin that I am also particular about whose hands caress my body and with whom I make love?

Everything is interconnected. I can't separate my spiritual life from the rest of my existence. It seems silly for me to pretend there are times and things in my day-to-day life that are not touched by the ultimate reality that surrounds all of us. Veganism has been part of setting aside some of that pretense; my evolving views about romantic relationships are no different.

LM

- n e x t   e s s a y -




Copyright © 1998-2013 by Jo Stepaniak   All rights reserved.
Nothing on this web site may be reproduced in any way
without express written permission from the copyright holder.
 
 

Vegan Vittles:
Second Helpings

Vegan Vittles: Second Helpings by Jo Stepaniak

Click here to learn more

Order this book!

 

 

The Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook

Click here to learn more

Review by Dan Balogh

View Readers' Comments

Order this book!

 

 

The Food Allergy
Survival Guide

The Food Allergy Survival Guide

Click here to learn more

Order this book!