Vegan Deli

Vegan Deli  by Jo Stepaniak

Click here to learn more

Order this book!

 

 

Raising Vegetarian Children
by Jo Stepaniak, M.S.Ed., & Vesanto Melina M.S., R.D.

Raising Vegetarian Children

Click here to learn more

Order this book!

 
     

Dating a Meat Eater

Given the shortage of other vegheads, especially male ones, some of us end up dating meat eaters. Some things that are issues for other vegetarians/vegans when they date meat eaters are not issues for me. I am not grossed out by the possibility that if I kiss someone, there may be microscopic amounts of meat left in his mouth from his last meal. He ate the chicken already, my getting grossed out doesn't save lives, and that's why I don't eat meat -- to save lives. Plus, if I ever eat out, which I do frequently, there are microscopic amounts of meat in my food anyway from the counters in the kitchen. There are other things that bother me, though.

First of all, let's say I am dating a meat eater and he is hungry and broke one day. Do I say, "Order food, I will pay for it"? What if it's a pepperoni pizza? Do I tell him I won't buy him lunch because it's meat? Then I will just seem "heartless" to the non-veggies that don't understand the global problems of meat, but do see someone hungry in front of them. I mean, doesn't kindness begin in your own backyard? But, the irony is not lost on me that they think I am "letting someone go hungry" by refusing to give my money to a meat industry, when the reality is that meat eaters contribute to world hunger. This also leads me to my second irritant.

How many times have we all been dumped for being vegan? How many times have I heard "...and I didn't like you eating weird food" thrown in there at the end of an explanation from an ex? Especially as a woman I hear this, because these men really want a woman to cook as their moms did. That is not easy to swallow. It makes me angry, frustrated, and it hurts my feelings (What am I, a cook or a girlfriend?). It's hard not to end up cynical and "militant" after a few of those.

Now, let's say that none of this has come up yet, and there is a relationship with a non-veg that has gone well so far. What about when Valentine's Day rolls around and he brings me Godiva chocolates? Do I refuse them? (See paragraph above where I come off as "heartless"...) Do I keep them around to make me feel good that someone cares, but not eat them? What good does that do the cows?

But, suppose I actually find a vegan man to date. I want to get married and have children. I don't want to live an "activist's life." Unfortunately, all of the vegan men I have met have been activists in the Animal Rights community, and have no interest in a family, nor could they afford one on their non-profit wages. They are martyrs for the cause, and I think that's great, but it's not what I want.

None of these problems is easy to resolve, but personally I have no intention to either change or stop dating. (There are plenty of times a man says "Don't try to change me!" over things a lot less important than ethics in the food industry. ) Eventually someone will see all my good points as valuable and consider the vegan thing incidental. I can't always get every little thing I might want in a person, but if I find someone I feel strongly about, it is wise to try to make it work.

Melanie J.
Massachusetts

- n e x t   e s s a y -




Copyright © 1998-2013 by Jo Stepaniak   All rights reserved.
Nothing on this web site may be reproduced in any way
without express written permission from the copyright holder.
 
 

Vegan Vittles:
Second Helpings

Vegan Vittles: Second Helpings by Jo Stepaniak

Click here to learn more

Order this book!

 

 

The Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook

Click here to learn more

Review by Dan Balogh

View Readers' Comments

Order this book!

 

 

The Food Allergy
Survival Guide

The Food Allergy Survival Guide

Click here to learn more

Order this book!