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Dating
"I got some mayo for your sandwich,"
he said. "Thanks," I respond, "but that has eggs, so
I'll just eat my sandwich without it. I appreciate the
thought, though." Not understanding is fine if someone
chooses to take me out on a date, but the following
part is what I really hate: right before he is about
to bite into his medium-rare steak, his quarter-pounder
burger, or indulge in his veal or other offensive food,
the question of "Why?" inevitably arises. How am I supposed
to answer? I try to cite the reasons: compassionate
living, environmental concerns, a big happy world without
murder and slaughter. For a second he looks touched,
almost admiring. Then the bite enters his mouth and
all is forgotten again. Was that brief moment of his
realization worth the disappointment of him taking the
bite after all? I sure hope so.
Halfway through his meal he will usually
ask the following question: "You don't mind if I eat
this in front of you do you?" Now what am I supposed
to say to that? Not wanting to force my views on him,
I tell him that I don't, that it's alright. But a voice
inside of me tells me I need to be more assertive and
find a time to explain how I truly feel. Before I can
say anything, he mentions that he could never be vegetarian,
let alone vegan. "I'm sure you could!" I tell him. "You
wouldn't be cutting out all that much, and vegan food
is really quite tasty. You should try it sometime."
Sadly, I receive the standard reply, a retelling of
when and how he likes to consume his animal products:
eggs for breakfast, cheese for lunch, and every meal
must include meat.
By the end of the meal, I am so sick
and tired of all the questions, followed by him chewing
and swallowing bits and pieces of animal parts, that
the thought of doing it all over again next week does
not sound too appealing. Neither does the almost obligatory
kiss at the end of the night. Another failed date.
Simply hanging out with friends has
always been much easier for me. Now that food has become
such a topic of conversation, I am most comfortable
when there are others whose company I enjoy and who
are able to make plenty of conversation that is not
food oriented. I suppose that the way to my heart will
be through a man's respect for me, shown not just by
finding a restaurant where I can have a good meal, but
also by understanding how deeply I feel about being
vegan. No man needs to be a vegetarian for me, but I
would love it if at least one would choose to go to
the library and pick up some books and educate himself.
Right now, random dates are not for me. That is not
what it is all about in the long run.
Jane N.
New Jersey
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