Pretending
Ah, yes. As children we were the great pretenders.
When I went swimming, I'd keep my feet together and
flop around like a mermaid. No, I was a mermaid.
It didn't even bother me that I had to come up for
air once in a while; after all, when mermaids were
sunning themselves on the atolls was when mere mortal
men saw them.
As a kid I was always somewhere else. Sometimes even
in school, which didn't go over so well. My memories
were that of a perfect childhood. It was always warm.
I was always barefoot. It never rained. It was the
early 70s and the air was clean and sex was dirty.
Thirty years have passed since then and times have
changed. My feet are always cold. I never go barefoot
because the gravel hurts and the grass is full of
duck poop. I live in Washington and it always rains.
It is 2001 and enough said.
But I still pretend.
Once I learned the meat lingo, I discovered that
"beef" means "cow", "pork" is "pig", "poultry" is
"chicken" and foul is what eating duck is. I banned
them from my diet. Some things you can't imagine your
way out of.
But I still pretend.
After thirty years of meat consumption, I find myself
with many of the effects that go along with it and
I'm pretending all the way. My cholesterol count is
high, but within "normal" limits. I'm 30 lbs overweight,
but that's just genetics. I don't look larger than
a size 12 as I wear a size 16 because I can no longer
squash myself into a size 14. That's why mermaids
went skinny-dipping.
Now I have a more realistic imagination. Now I eat
a balanced vegan diet. How many peas can be wedged
between spinach leaves when I create lone, green mountain
on my plate where oil and vinegar pool like tarns?
It is a pastoral plate where baby corns rest peacefully
on the slopes and nestle next to sunflower seeds.
"Balanced" means how can I get this salad back to
my table without causing an avalanche. "Diet" means
I still have 30 lbs to lose, but I pretend a lifestyle
change is one of my true motivators.
I wish I were a mermaid.
Susan S.
Washington
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