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From: homeschoolin (
Subject:         The comments you have made here in regards to him...
Date: September 28, 2006 at 12:22 pm PST

In Reply to: ex, newly released from prison, is getting married -- posted by Brenda C. on September 4, 2006 at 12:36 pm:

Do Not represent a Christian attitude of yourself. I do not know what his crime was (nor do I need to know what his crime was). But The Board of Pardon and Paroles must feel that he is a "model prisoner" if he is being released 20 years early. Which BTW is actually unheard of in most cases. All offenders NO Matter what their crime was can be rehabilitated inside the prison system. That is what they are there for. They go to school, work and yes even Church! They attend Bible Study, Choir, even Promise Keepers! I have to ask, how many times did you take the children to the prison to see their Daddy??? I bet NONE. It was your responsibility to see that they visit, that they maintain that relationship with their Dad. There was NO Way their Daddy could come to them. How many times when saying their prayers at night did you have them include Daddy? Or how many times when you prayed did you include your EX in your prayers to ask God to lead him in the right direction? I'm sure someone did, whether it be his family or friends. Offenders become very close to God inside the Walls. They have NO one else, God is the only one they can turn to at any point and time. He is the one that does not judge them......but instead forgives them. Offenders are just like you and me.....they are Good people who make BAD Choices. You should give your EX a chance to get to know his children. You could be there for the visit, I'm sure that would even make it easier for the children. But remember don't judge him and don't belittle him in front of the children. He has served his time for his crime. And he will continue to serve his time until he is released completely from "Paper". Most offenders have a very hard time when released. They are used to someone telling them when to shower, eat, go to work, school, how to dress, what to do every second of every hour of the day. Coming back into the Free World for them is HARD.....they must find a job (alot of people don't want to give Felons a chance), they must learn to just survive in the Real World again. For some just coping in the day to day routines is hard for them. They aren't used to having a Paycheck, going to the supermarket, or buying clothes. Freedom can be taken from anyone at any time!!! What if you were suddenly taken from your children and placed in prison and you wanted to see your children upon release......and your ex-husband was talking trash about you?? How would you feel???? You would probably feel worthless to begin with, you would feel that NO one cares about you and therefore why should you try to do right. I applaud your ex-husband for trying to see his children and I applaud him even louder for wanting to attend church.

Now, I'm sure you are saying "Who is this person telling me "what I don't want to hear" ?? I am the sister of an offender. I was there for every visitation, every step of the way thru prison. My brother is now out and doing GREAT. He has a very good job now, but he was one of the few that was given a chance. I wrote his letter to the Parole Board, I believed in him. I had a very good friend of mine who is a Sherrif tell me once "Don't ever turn your back on him....he's a good person that hooked up with bad people and made some poor choices" then he told me that "if I didn't visit and write that my brother would see NO reason to want to get his life back on the right track" I prayed more for him than I ever have anyone. I saw my prayers answered with him. He was saved in prison. Yes, he is a Felon, but does that make him a BAD person.......NO it does NOT. I am very proud of him and I share our story of prison with anyone, because so many people are misinformed of the prison system.

Now, you said he hasn't seen your children in 4 years, guess what my ex has never seen our child. His rights were terminated when our child was almost 3, but he never saw him before that. If he was to show up today and want to see our child, I would certainly be hesistant, but I would allow it. I would insist that I be present during the visit. Children have questions and in order for them to be answered they have to know both parents.

Give your EX a chance, if everyone denys him opportunities........he will have a very hard time here in the Free World.

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