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From: Brenda C. (
Subject:         Re: ex, newly released from prison, is getting married --
Date: September 6, 2006 at 7:34 pm PST

In Reply to: Re: ex, newly released from prison, is getting married -- posted by Mettenn on September 6, 2006 at 3:04 pm:

Hi "A",
Thank you for your insight. Do you think having the kids memorize Matthew 19:8-9 would get me in trouble? "Jesus replied, 'Moses permitted you to divorce because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.'" Would that be considered antagonistic?

According to him, he's not making a lot of money, I actually make more, so I hope he couldn't afford to take me to court. I hope there are no more court appearances in our future. I won't keep him from seeing the kids, but I intend to keep it to a minimum.

Yes, I did consult an attorney who told me that xdh had a right to visit his kids, and that it was in my best interests to control what was reasonable rather than going to court where a judge might offer him more time with the kids than I'd want him to have. Of course, if we went to court for that, I'd bring up child support. His fear of being forced to pay more than I agreed to accept might keep him from tempting fate by demanding a hearing.

At this point, I'm putting "legal" obstacles up. The kids were already performing in children's church once a month. My son had asked a year ago about joining the choir, so tonight they went to their first choir rehearsal. If they are active in our church, then I believe I'm legally within my rights to deny xdh the chance to take them to his church on Sundays -- which they don't want to go anyway because their friends are at our church!

I've also wondered whether their ages come into play. My dd is about to turn 14, my ds is already 14. Don't they have a say so in where they go and when at this stage? My ds told me out of the blue tonight that he doesn't want to go to his dad's wedding -- unless he can take a paintball gun and disrupt the ceremony. (Wouldn't that be fun???)

Again, I'm so glad to hear from you. I do wonder how things are and whether you are surviving! I wish you lived closer!

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