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From: Scoutmamaof4 (
Subject:         Re: Homeschooling among the married couples...
Date: July 26, 2006 at 11:35 am PST

In Reply to: Re: Homeschooling among the married couples... posted by Brenda C. on July 15, 2006 at 9:33 pm:

I have, unfortunately, been affected by attitudes among married home schoolers. I have been single for four years, and am a survivor of an abusive marriage.

When I first started attending the home school events it seemed that people were excited to see me coming with my four children. As soon as they found out I was divorced, however, there was an immediate and very visible change in the way we were treated.

I refused to believe at first, that this was really happening, but over time, I was made very aware that I was not wanted in the group. I had mothers approach me and tell me that kids without a father were a reproach to our group. It somehow spoiled the image of homeschoolers as squeaky clean and perfect.

I now realize that it was a few of the 'core group' of that particular home school group that felt that way, but they made sure that I knew that I was not really welcome, and that they hoped I wouldn't tell anyone in our county that I home school. They were afraid that if I told anyone I was divorced and home schooling, it would appear that they condone divorce.

I know it sounds harsh, but alas, it's true.

I was blessed to find another group in our area not too long after leaving the first group. (Both are an hour drive for in one direction, and the other in the other direction.) We had a "Moms Breakfast" and I went. We were going around the table telling who we were and a little bit about our family and home school. When it was my turn I was very afraid of what the reaction would be, but figured it was better to find out right up front than to hope that they wouldn't reject me later.

The reaction from this group of women couldn't be more opposite than the reaction of the first group. They came around and hugged me, and made me feel very much a part of the group. I've been very happy with this group, and the other moms even go out of their way to help my children get to events when I have to work.

Both groups call themselves Christian. The hardest part for me was the way my children were treated. As if it wasn't bad enough what happened to them, they were made to feel that they were somehow 'bad' and not 'real' Christians because their mother was single.

I pray you can find a supportive group in your area. Keep coming back here meanwhile!

Sorry for the rant....


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