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From: Elle (
Subject:         Re: daughters...
Date: October 21, 2008 at 3:50 pm PST

In Reply to: daughters... posted by amy on October 21, 2008 at 7:13 am:

I know you must be having a hard time and I am terribly sorry. You, your daughter, her boyfriend and your sister will be in my prayers. First I would like to say hold fast to the faith that you have in God who is able to keep her and faith that the Godly seeds you have sown into your daughter's life will produce fruit. Secondly keep her covered in prayer.

As parent's today we have to battle so many outside influences that war against Christian values. Often times our children think that what they see glamorized and accepted in our society is the right way and our children think we are just being old fashioned. They don't think we understand the way things are today or understand what they go thru. I can remember that being the case in my own life. I had some wild teenage years even though I had been taught Christian values, had made my profession of faith at 13, and was baptized. When I was 21, my Dad made such a fuss about me spending the night at my boyfriend's house that I went to the courthouse and married my boyfriend. It really wasn't complete rebellion, I did want to please my Dad, but I wanted to be grown up and make my own decisions and get out from under the parental wing. The biblical truths that were instilled in me were always there , but it was still based on what my Dad told me or what the preacher said or what my Grandmother said. What I saw in the world around me said something totally different. The Lord called me out when I was about 23. One thing kind of led to another and I started searching the scriptures on my own. I can relate it to the following passage in scripture:

Matthew 16:13-17
13When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, "Who do people say the Son of Man is?"

14They replied, "Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets."

15"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?"

16Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ,[b] the Son of the living God."

17Jesus replied, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven.

That became a personal question to me. " Who do you say that I am?" I came to the same realization and got the same revelation from the Father that Peter got. "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." I have never been the same and that was the beginning of my personal walk with the Lord. I look back at those years that I spent relying on what others said about God and I have no doubt that I was saved and that God was with me through all my trials, but then He revealed Himself to me personally and I have been on a journey with Him ever since. I don't always do everything right, and I am definitely a work in progress but I trust Him to lead me and course correct me as necessary. The Lord desires us to have a personal relationship with Him, not our parent's relationship with Him.

What we can do as parents is plant those seeds, water those seeds, but it is God who provides the increase. You can trust His promise to you that if you will train a child in the way he should go, when he/she is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6
This doesn't mean that they will always do everything right and not stray off course. It means that you can trust the spiritual principle that God has established and know that His word never returns void, but establishes what he has sent it to do. Sometimes as hard as it is for us to watch, they might have to find themselves in the pigpen before they come to their senses and return to the Father. He will always be waiting with open arms.

You know in scripture when Jesus taught the disciples, they did not always understand everything and Jesus promised them a helper, the Holy Spirit who would bring to their remembrance all the things He taught them. That is exactly what happened. That is the same thing that happens to us as well. We might find ourselves in some situation or circumstance and the Holy Spirit will bring something to our remembrance and it is often a turning point for us or a strengthening in our spirit.

I would strongly suggest that you keep an open relationship with your daughter and not feel as if all hope is lost. Surely she knows that you don't approve of what she's doing and why, but also let her know that you love her regardless of her choices and that she can always trust you. All that you have done instilling Godly Christian principles into your daughter's life are a foundation that will stand.

My sister had a very hard time with my niece(I'll call her Dee), from the time she was 13, she started using pills, drinking alcohol, and being very rebellious. Dee was a mess and we all were affected by this. Prior to this age, Dee was a precious child who knew bible verses, loved God, loved to sing christian songs and then there was this terrible change and nightmare that followed. Doctors put her on all kinds of medication and for 6 years, our family went from one crisis to another with her. We prayed all the time for her and held fast to our faith. She moved out at age 17 and into the home of her boyfriend and his parents. At 18, she got pregnant. Oddly enough this turned out to be the best thing that happened in years. She actually said that she got a revelation from God after she found out she was pregnant and that God told her that she had to stop focusing on herself because now she was responsible for a new life. (something to that effect)
She immediately stopped smoking, drinking, pill popping, even stopped all the doctor prescribed medication. Dee has turned out to be such a good mother. Both of them are good parents. They have not married, but they are very much loved and emotionally supported by all the family. She embraces a healthy lifestyle and the years that she went astray are just a distant memory. Her precious little boy is such a blessing to us all. I am very proud of Dee and her boyfriend for their decision to become parents when faced with an unplanned pregnancy and for how much they have grown and matured.

I hope that you don't misunderstand and worry about your daughter becoming pregnant, I was telling this story as an example that things can turn around even when you think things might never change.

Encourage your daughter to finish her schooling and encourage her to make wise choices for her future even if she is not making them now. Stay involved and interested in what she is doing. Praise her for the good choices she makes. How you respond to her behavior will still have an impact on her.

I don't know if any of this helps, just know that someone is praying for you.

PS My first marriage only lasted 7 years, my Dad was right about everything he told me and the Lord still was able to bless me even though I didn't always make the right choices. I have a beautiful daughter from that marriage and through it all everything that has happened in my life has brought me into a closer walk with the Lord.

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