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From:	chas (216.198.106.92)
Subject:	Re: I think you are right, but
Date:	May 6, 2008 at 1:22 pm PST

In Reply to: I think you are right, but posted by Saysfaa on May 4, 2008 at 4:01 pm:

Thanks guys. Yes I realize I cannot control what she nor her kids do or say. What started this whole thing was that the oldest (13) was telling me that her teacher was getting on her case about her language. I told her that It wasn't very becoming of a young lady to talk like that especially since she claims to be a Christian. She said "oh, so now your're going to lecture me too" So then she starts asking me about certain words that she says and what I think about them. Most of us probably don't take a second glance at someone if they say something like Geez or golly or doggone. I say things like that myself but I came home and looked up "euphemisms" and those words according to the miriam webster's online dictionary are replacements for very bad words or the names of God or Jesus.

She is also bad to say things like (excuse me if it's offensive but...) give me that freaking ball, etc. I looked up that word and it's a euphemism for the "F" word. I told her my findings and she runs home and tells her mother and she basically said that it was fine for her to say because she doesn't believe that they are bad words. Over the weekend we had a family get together and My BIL made sure he said CRAP real loud in front of me several times (this is their dad)

This is my take on the whole thing. I know that I can't tell them not to come over or keep my kids from them just because I don't like their speech. That could cause some real friction in the whole family. I have never told them NOT to say words at my house BUT IF I did then as long as they were under my care I would think that it would NOT be unreasonable to ask that of them. IF my kids are at their house then I expect that they have rules that they would expect my kids to abide by and I should have enough respect to not tell my kids that they don't have to honor them.

It's all a matter of principle and the parents acting like children themselves and getting offended because I told their daughter that her speech wasn't very becoming.

My dh and I had a talk about it and he said that we should just let it be and pray for them and if it was God's will for them to adjust their attitude about it that HE would take care of it.

I am usually very meek and take and take and take and keep my mouth shut. I just needed to vent because I am just about to say something to them that I shouldn't. It's not just about the speech thing, it's the kids' disrespect for adults and authority, their dress, etc. They always criticise EVERYONE else's kids but don't seem to see that theirs are going astray. I hate to see these kids get away from the Christian principles that they think they are impressing upon them.

We were all in the room together on Friday and my kids were outside playing and the 13 yr old came in telling on mine for spitting. He told me that he didn't mean to spit on her but she was swinging beside him and when he did it went on her (it was REALLY windy that day too). She told him not to spit and he told her he didn't mean to and she said he did it on purpose. Then she said the c word about something and he told her that she shouldn't say it in front of my 21 mth old. That's when she came in "telling" on him (which to me is soo childish for an almost 14 yr old) anyway her mom said oh, good grief and then commences to say that it was better than the other word. Then she says that he better not spit on her again or she'd be out there on his case. The entire time I am sitting there in the room with my mouth hanging open.

I will just try to keep my mouth shut but when the adults are talking about your kids right there in front of you and telling their kids that what another adult has said to them in basically hogwash and they don't have to listen to them just blows my mind

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