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From: Shannon/FL (172-59.102-97.tampabay.res.rr.com)
Subject:         I have let my son down
Date: February 3, 2008 at 10:42 pm PST

I feel as if I have let my son down. This is the first year that we are "technically" homeschooling. ( I say technical because when he was 3 we did all the preschool stuff then, he always wanted to know more and I gave it to him) It was the same material the over in VPK, then again in Kindergarten, with a few advancements. By the time he went to PS I was working full time again. By the end of the first 9 weeks of PS, he was begging to be home schooled, which I toyed with the idea, but never told him about it.(Still have no clue where he got the idea.) I told him that he had to finish 1st grade and we would talk about it. By March came around, I was no longer working we doing great. Hubby and I thought it would be best, so we did. To start off with, I had the crazy idea that we did not need to spend hundreds of dollars on curriculum, that I would just make my own.That went ok for a while, but had problems dealing with the 3 year old. (I say ok because he would always say that this is not the way MS. ____ did it, it got very frustrating) I spent hours upon hours planning, then we would take a day off, so mommy could plan. One day turned to two, then a week, and so on. To help feel better about myself, I called it unschooling. (We do read a lot) Husband changed careers, then was laid off (he became a truck driver). He was out of work for 4 months. Times have become so financially hard. I think depression has set in. Husband is working now, but we are still way behind on all the bills. In the process of trying to work out a deal with the bank to prevent foreclosure. We no longer have a phone, and have just been turned down for food public assistance because the one car that we have (which is paid off) is considered to be too high of an asset. Husband is only home for 34 hours on the weekends, and half of that time, he needs to sleep. We can't afford day care so I could go even look for work.
Sorry this is long and drawn out, but to the school issue, by the time I have realized my ignorance and that I cannot be superwoman , that we need some sort of curriculum or guidelines to go by, it is already Feb. and we can't even afford to keep food on the table. My hubby and I are worried that our son will not "pass the test" that he is suppose to take, let alone afford to pay for it. Every time we try to do something, it always ends up in tears for all of us. (Me and my two sons) I just don't know what to do anymore. The thought has crossed my mind to send him to repeat 1st grade, and the 3yo to VPK in Aug. but they don't want to. We can no longer check books out of the library because we lost a few of books for a while and we owe them money too. Because of the depression that I have (have had experience with this before) the boys are not on any schedule at all, and everyone I try to implement fails miserably. I wish that we could just take the rest of the year off, and just start fresh next year. But again, I'm afraid off the testing.
Any thoughts or suggestions would be graciously accepted.


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