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From: Marian (
Subject:         Re: I regret homeschooling my son
Date: December 26, 2007 at 5:45 am PST

In Reply to: Re: I regret homeschooling my son posted by Karen on December 20, 2007 at 12:53 am:

I really feel for you. My 15 year old has had similar problems. He
was homeschooled in elementary school, but did not start smoking
pot until I let him go back to public school. I think you are very
wrong to apologize to your son for homeschooling him. You did it
because yo love him and want what's best for him. He doesn't
agree with you assessment of what's best for him, but realize that
you have a lot more life experience than him. He doesn't
necessarily know what's best for him. Adolescents are naturally
rebellious anyway. It sounds like your son needs a father figure.
Your husband is too uninvolved. Mine was, too, but when he found
out about the drugs, he got involved real quick. My husband and
both of my sons (I have a 13 year old, too) also have serious anger
issues. My husband and 15 year old went a few rounds (physical
fights) over the marijuana issue. But even with those problems,
having his father involved helped a lot. Also, check out the Big
Brothers program. They found a Big Brother for my son who is a
college student studying to be a substance abuse counsellor. My
son loves his Big Brother. By the way, I pulled him out of the public
school when I found out about the drugs. He was angry and said
he absolutely was not going to be homeschooled. I signed him up
for classes at the community college. By the end of summer (I
pulled him out in spring) I let him know that he was also going to
be doing some homeschooling and he accepted it. I think he was
really looking for boundaries, even though he fought them tooth
and nail (natural adolescent reaction). I don't know if he is still
doing drugs, but he is at least much more cooperative and
communicative now. This is going to be a tough row for you to
hoe, but be tough with him. You'll never regret it. Email me if you
want and we can talk more.

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