This is an update, I am so grateful that I have somewhere I can unburden myself. I am all alone in this and it is getting worse. I found a pipe in his room, seems he had been smoking marijuana. I asked him about it and he admitted it, then he said he is deeply depressed and it helps him. I have offered to take him to a psychologist, he has refused outright. I cannot tell his father, his father has a nasty temper, I do want anything bad to happen, to be quite honest they both have nasty tempers. I sit down by myself and cry.I am on anti-depressants, three different sets, and I see a psychiatrist regularly. I have apologized repeatedly to him asking him to forgive me for homeschooling him, to forgive me if he felt he missed out on going to public school. I tell him that almost every week. What more can I do? I love my son, he means the world to me, yes maybe I was a bit overprotective of him after his sister died, now he is going to turn 18 in two months and I am so worried for what lies ahead for him. Sometimes I feel he actually hates me, then other times he is kind to me. This up and down treatment get me very depressed. If I had it all to do again, I would never homeschool my child. I would send him to the public school and let him deal with system, then he would not have me to kick around. Yes, I thought that I was doing a good thing at the time, but now after being tortured on a regular basis by him I feel wounded like a dog that has been treated poorly by its owner. I also miss my daughter, she would have been 11 years old this year, and last month was her anniversary. Oh please forgive me if I keep on like this but the situation just look completely hopeless to me. Thanks for all your kind support, I really appreciate those of you who have taken the time to reply to my post. God bless you all.
