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From: Kim (74-37-121-103.dsl1.ekgv.ca.frontiernet.net)
Subject:         I'm a failure
Date: November 8, 2007 at 5:05 am PST

I am so overwhelmed and feel like such a failure. I have 4 boys and have been homeschooling always. I have a 17 year old who is mostly in charge of himself at this point, but is lazy and needs constant prodding, and encouragement, a 13 year old who is driven and just plain weird. He does his schoolwork around the clock and on weekends and holidays. He is mostly self sufficient but needs help sometimes. My 11 year old is all boy who would rather be outside in the tree and I must sit by him in order for him to do his work. My 6 year old is learning to read and write and do his arithmatic.

It's all too much! My home is in a shambles constantly. My husband is practically ignored, in part because I am so exhausted by the time I have everyone in bed, and partially because I am so mad at him for not assisting me.

Homeschooling is no different than if I left the home to go into the work place. Yet he would like the home clean and the children schooled. I have been praying to become a quiet and gentle spirited wife, but I don't quite hit the mark. I'm so disappointed, frustrated, and fed up.

I am sorry for carrying on and on. Really I am wondering if I am doing to much? Each of the children have 7 subjects a day. This includes bible, and p.e. Is this too much. I think if I cut back a little maybe I could concentrate on having dinner ready and the house picked up when he gets home at 3:00 pm.

Last night was a typical school day. I was up, dressed and moving at 5:30 a.m. and collapsed on the couch at 9:30pm where I was trying to quiz my eldest on his Spanish. I passed out there and stayed there all night, which happens often.

I feel like a failure...
help?
Kim


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