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From: Minkydo (70-100-87-133.br1.ara.mn.frontiernet.net)
Subject:         Last joke for the day :)
Date: March 30, 2006 at 11:15 pm PST

If my body were a car

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

My fenders are too wide to be considered stylish. They were once as slick as a little MG, now they look like an old Buick. My seat cushions have all split open at the seams. My seats are sagging. Seat belts? I gave up ALL belts when Krispy Cremes opened a shop in my neighborhood!

Air bags? Forget it. The only bags I have these days are under my eyes. Not counting the saddlebags of course.

My odometer has soooooo many miles on it. Sure, I have been many places and seen many things, but when is the last time an appraiser factored life experiences against depreciation?

My headlights are out of focus and it is especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here is the worst of it....almost every time I sneeze, cough, or sputter......my radiator leaks! Then my exhaust backfires!


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