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From:	C (98.220.94.212)
Subject:	Re: boy can I relate
Date:	March 23, 2008 at 3:57 pm PST

In Reply to: reluctant spouse posted by Deb on November 14, 2007 at 8:53 pm:

Deb,

I just came across your post. I can relate to you. My husband and I
are struggling to know what to do, too. We have one adopted child.
The issue for him is mostly financial. We have lost 4. Here is what
I would suggest: try getting some advice from friends whom you
both trust. We have a mutual faith, so we pray, too. Sometimes I
don't know what to say because I don't want to pressure him; that
will just make matters worse. Hang in there. I think if you're both
not on the same page, it is best to hold off for now.

Maybe a good marriage counselor might help, too. When we lost
our third child, we decided to get counseling. We had read that
70% couples who lose a child have marriage difficulties, often
ending in divorce. We didn't want that, so we got proactive. The
counseling helped us through our grief. Perhaps some of your
depression is coming from grieving your losses.

C

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