Hillary Rettig's Blog

In Which I Advise A Young Baby

2012-06-27T01:08:12Z

My friend, free software activist, Ciaran McHale and his wife, Bianca, recently had a baby--the gorgeous Toby. And they did something completely cool, which was to ask friends concerned with social justice to write letters to Toby, which they would publish in a book.

The book Letters to Toby is out, and you can read it here.

It's full of inspiration and insight, so check it out! By the way, Ciaran compiled it using his program, Canthology, which anyone interested in producing anthologies should check out.

Below is my letter to Toby, which I hope you enjoy.

Hillary

Dear Toby,

Greetings from Boston, MA, and welcome to the world! Your parents have asked me to write a letter to you on the momentous occasion ofyour birth.

I don’t know your father very well, but he is a very special person to me. After my first book, The Lifelong Activist, was published, he wrote to me saying that he liked it and also included a detailed list of grammatical and other errors he had spotted to help me with my second edition. It was a generous gift of his time. And when I published my second book, The 7 Secrets of the Prolific, your father was the very first person to order it— just a few moments after I sent out the announcement! True, he was on British time, and thus had a head start on the Americans who were still asleep. But it was still a very meaningful and encouraging thing he did.

So I know your father to be very intelligent and caring. And although I don’t know your mother at all, I’m sure she is an equally special person. And this project they came up with of having friends write you a letter may be the most wonderful way possible to welcome any child into the world. Already so many people know you and care about you!

I think it’s appropriate that I share with you some of the important things I’ve learned during my own years on the planet. I have had a pretty diverse career, with some ups and some downs, and my personal life has also had its ups and downs. However, I find myself, at age 53, in a very satisfying place. In particular, my professional life is very gratifying. I help people overcome procrastination, underproductivity and underperformance. It is a relatively unusual specialty, and a very important one, and I am very good at it. It is also immensely illuminating.

The most important thing I have learned is that underproductivity or underachievement always have a cause (or causes), and the cause is always valid. Always. 100%. No exceptions. Sooner or later, you will be underproductive or will otherwise disappoint yourself—it happens to all of us. An important key to being happy, effective, and successful is that, when that happens, you not waste time bashing yourself or putting yourself down. Just work on characterizing and resolving the root problems, and things will clear up probably more quickly than you can imagine.

Try not to do this important work alone, but in the company of smart and compassionate friends, family and other supporters. And be there for them, not just because it’s the right thing to do, but because helping others is the best way to foster your own growth and healing.

Beyond that, the two values that I most commend to you are generosity and compassion.

Generosity feels wonderful, and of course it does wonderful things for others. In my life I’ve given away lots of free advice and help, and lots of money to individuals and causes. I’ve also given away my home (to foster children and foster animals), and a kidney. (Your Dad suggested that I send my article on that experience as this letter, but I trust in the enduring power of the Internet— as well as your own inquisitiveness — and believe that, when you’re ready to read the article, it will be out there and you’ll be able to find it easily.) I’ve also given away lots of love. Often that love was returned, but sometimes it wasn’t, which was painful. But as Billy Joel sings in The Longest Time, “I have been a fool for lesser things.” I believe it is always worth taking a chance for love.

I see people who are not generous and their lives seem, to me, to be cramped and constrained. They’re always weighing and measuring—- money, time, favors, feelings—- and they’re also always hoarding (the same). The result may be relatively comfortable and safe, and possibly even happy to a degree, but they are capable of so much more—- and in many cases they know it and are bitter.

As for compassion… the Greek philosopher Philo of Alexandria famously said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” And Graham Greene, in one of his novels, says that everyone is less happy than he or she seems. The biggest impact you can have is to be compassionate on as wide a scale as possible—- and I beg you not to forget the non-human animals in your efforts. Unfortunately, we are all victimized by the reality that we must compete for scarce resources and otherwise live at each other’s expense. In light of all that, I believe humanity’s greatest achievements will be veganism and the related ethics of ahimsa (doing no harm) and nonviolence. I urge you to explore all of these and adopt them as your personal credo.

Also, in your life, demand generosity and compassion from those around you, and never settle for anything less.

It’s an amazing thing your Dad did, to generously and compassionately put in time to help me improve my books when he didn’t know me at all. It was also incredible of your parents to ask me to participate in this most meaningful event in their lives. As a result of their generosity and compassion, I feel a connection with you right now. It may be that, as you grow up, you will want to reach out to me. I urge you to do so, because I will be here for you.

Yours in peace, love, and freedom,

Hillary Rettig

How to Get More Productive

2011-07-23T23:11:09Z

My new book is about to be published: The Seven Secrets of the Prolific: The Definitive Guide to Overcoming Procrastination, Perfectionism, and Writer's Block. I'm kvelling! It's the culmination of three years' writing work, plus many more years teaching and coaching people on how to get more productive. Many of those I've worked with have been veg*ns, and because helping them has been my most satisfying achievement, I'd thought I'd summarize the entire book for Vegsource readers.

Yup, a book-in-a-blog-post. Here it goes:

Before I get to the Seven Secrets themselves, you should know that procrastination is not due to laziness, lack of commitment, lack of willpower, etc., but disempowerment - meaning that there are forces separating you from, or blocking you from using, your skills, strengths, talents, energy, etc. (Writer's BLOCK, get it?) Laziness, etc., are not causes of procrastination, but symptoms. I promise you that once you use the Seven Secrets to overcome your disempowering constraints you'll "magically" reclaim all the energy, commitment, etc., you think you're missing.

Also remember that your reasons for procrastinating are always valid. Always. Confusion, fear, depression, poverty, lack of support, and personal or family problems are all perfectly valid reasons not to want to do your work: procrastination is just a suboptimal response. Whenever you are underproductive, therefore, skip the shame, blame and guilt, and simply work to identify and resolve the underlying problems, preferably within the context of a competent and supportive community.

The Seven Secrets of the Prolific are the key behaviors separating productive/prolific people from those who are underproductive: each addresses a major category of disempowering constraint. They are:

1) Overcome Perfectionism. Perfectionists define success narrowly and unrealistically, and failure broadly, and then punish themselves harshly for the perceived (inevitable) failures. They also: overidentify with their work, so that every failure becomes a kind of ego demolition; are grandiose, so that they expect quick and easy success even for difficult endeavors; emphasize product over process; and over-rely on external rewards and measures of success. They also: are shortsighted (the current project is always do-or-die), use a lot of negative labels (e.g., "lazy" or "loser"), relentlessly compare themselves to others (and always lose in those comparisons), and dichotomize (everything is either a "total success" or "total failure").

In a typical procrastination scenario, you begin your work, and then the perfectionist kicks in with an abusive litany: "That's horrible! Whoever told you you could write [or do art or activism, etc.]? You're never going to succeed at this rate. And why don't you write more, anyway? You're so lazy!" It's a desperate attempt to get you to perform "up to spec" and thus avoid the terrifying prospect of failure, but, of course, it only makes you more terrified - so that you are forced to procrastinate simply to escape.

There are three voices in that scenario, those of the fragile creator, bullying perfectionist, and procrastinator - who, by the way, is not your enemy but the valiant defender of the bullied creator: only, because she's invoked by fear, she's regressed and therefore limited in her coping options. I picture her as a smart and empowered 15-year-old who, like most teens, reacts to bullying either by opposition ("Screw you and all your rules!") or learned helplessness ("Why even bother trying?"). That's the heart of your procrastination or block right there.

The missing voice is that of the wise and compassionate adult who understands the true challenges of creativity, and also that abuse is not only ineffective, but morally unacceptable. That's the voice you need to grow within yourself, and when you do, you'll find your fears around your work lessening, and also your need to procrastinate. You grow that voice in three ways: (1) journaling, and especially dialoguing with the perfectionist; (2) timed exercises where you practice doing your work in the absence of judgment; and (3) participating in compassionate and humane (in the broadest sense) communities. (More on strategies 1 and 2 here.)

2) Resource Yourself Abundantly. The underproductive worker is typically the one working on a flaky computer in a dusty basement with the mildew and cobwebs and last season's wardrobe. The prolific worker, in contrast, claims the best room she can, decorates it to her taste and needs, and invests in top-flight equipment. (While it's true that some people don't have a lot of money to invest, it's also true that many who do choose to spend it anywhere but their work.)

3) Manage Your Time. Productive people live consciously and deliberately. They know their values, needs and priorities, and align their actions as much as possible with them. They budget and schedule their time, and invest as much of their time as possible in high-value activities that: (a) are mission-focused, (b) leverage their strengths, and (c) create impact or change in the real world. They are comfortable saying no to tasks they can't or don't want to take on, and they also delegate constantly. They avoid time- and energy-sucking dysfunction and drama, and also live frugally (a win for the environment, too!) because they understand that too many possessions, and too much debt, are a kind of slavery.

4) Cultivate Effective Work Processes. Underproductive people tend to approach their projects linearly: they try to finish A before moving on to B, C, etc. This is a precarious way to work because if A, B or C happen to be difficult, you'll get stuck. Productive people, in contrast, see their works as 2D or even 3D landscapes, and work on whichever part seems easiest or most appealing. (Among other advantages, this lets them work “around” the hard parts till those parts get easier.) When writing, they do lots and lots of drafts, each a tiny improvement over the previous one, instead of limiting themselves to a few excruciatingly honed drafts.

5) Overcome Internalized Oppression and Ambivalence. Internalized oppression is when you buy into negative stereotypes about you or your work. If, while you're trying to write a novel, do veg activism, or even just live your life according to your own values, a part of you is thinking such endeavors are wrong, stupid, silly, futile, etc., that's going to create a huge ambivalence that can stop you dead in your tracks. You need to be absolutely clear on who you are, what you value, and why you value it – as well as what you're willing to invest and sacrifice to attain your goals.

6) Avoid and Overcome Traumatic Rejections. Most underproductivity is catalyzed by traumatic rejections, so if you experience one, cope strenuously via journaling, discussions with friends and mentors, and (in some cases) speaking your truth. Always seek to avoid traumatic rejection in the first place, however, by only dealing with fair and honest people in a context of equality. Avoid oppressors or exploiters no matter what benefit you think you'll derive from the association, and recognize that rejection comes in many forms, including harshness, callousness, neglect, marginalization and deprecation. Finally, don't believe anyone who says you need to get a thicker skin: the goal is to have a thin skin so that you can be sensitive and alive and responsive to the world around you - and to surround yourself with people who are the same.

7) Create an Empowered Career. Empowered careers are characterized by equality, nonviolence, collaboration and a sense you're using your strengths and skills to good purpose. They feel good, create positive impact/change, and surround you with other empowered beings. We all know that there are many disempowering jobs out there - and that many employers are taking advantage of the recession to further disempower employees – but there are also many empowered ones. If you are stuck in a disempowering job it is very important that you leave. See my free ebook It's Not You, It's Your Strategy for a good job-search strategy.

So those are the Seven Secrets. Please note that it would be perfectionist to expect to accomplish all of them in a short time. :-) The path of empowerment, productivity and joy is one you travel along for life, taking mostly small steps.

If the topics I've discussed speak to your situation, please consider preordering my book. I'm self publishing (Secret #7 in action!), so your preorder will help me defray costs AND you'll get a great discount. Mention "Vegsource" on your preorder form and I'll donate $3 (if you buy the $25 paperback) or $.50 (if you buy the $3.00 paperback) to Youth Empowered Action Camp, a wonderful summer camp that helps socially aware teens build knowledge and skills for taking lifelong action in areas including animal rights, climate change, sexism, racism and other justice issues.

Here's for ever more productive and happy vegetarians and vegans!

The Purpose of Even a Vegan Business is Profit

2011-05-30T15:55:14Z

Yes, I know about the evils of profit, and I'm obviously not suggesting you elevate it over all ethical concerns. But if you wish to be in business – which I believe is a valid personal and activist strategy – then you need to focus on profit. Even businesses operating on enlightened triple bottom line principles focus on a Profit metric alongside People and Planet.

A business is a “machine” for generating profit. The machine's parts include production, marketing, sales, financial management, customer service, etc. When they are all operating correctly, the machine hums along and you extract more money from the economy than you put in. That's your profit.

What do you call a commercially-focused endeavor that you invest a lot of time and money in, but that doesn't generate a profit? If you're lucky: a hobby. If you're unlucky: a heartbreak. I draw a strong line here because I've experienced that heartbreak myself, and have seen others experience it. I want to save you from it. I also know, personally and through the experiences of others, that it's easy to fool yourself into thinking things are doing better than they are, your big break is right around the corner, etc.

Don't settle for a faux business: one that looks profitable but doesn't pay you a decent salary (a “donut” business with an empty hole in the center); or one that perpetually teeters on the edge of profitability without ever attaining consistent and sustainable profitability (a “trundler”).

Never think that vegan businesses are somehow special and exempt from the ordinary rules of business operation and growth. They aren't: the vegan rules are added to the business rules, which makes the whole endeavor quite a challenge. Vegan retailers, for instance, often weigh considerations such as fair trade, fair labor practices, and organic/sustainable provision when deciding what to sell. None of that, however, absolves them from having to make the most basic business calculation: “Can I sell it, and at a profit?” (And after you do all that, some customers will still complain or refuse to do business with you. Alas, that goes with the territory of trying to run an ethical business.)

This brings me to a final point: that in business, the entrepreneur's vision is almost inevitably compromised. You enter your business with a passion, and your customers share some of it – but it is your obligation to acknowledge the part they don't share and accommodate it to the greatest extent possible. (Or, put another way: it is not the customer's job to accommodate your needs and viewpoints, but your job to accommodate hers, thus making it as easy and attractive as possible for her to buy.) You shouldn't compromise your key values, but you shouldn't also have so many uncompromisable values that you can't run a profitable business.

This quandary is far from unique to vegan businesses: professional artists frequently chafe at the need to compromise their vision, as do programmers, building contractors, and others. (Of course, those who chafe too much are unlikely to remain in business.) The hardest part of business, I and many others have found, is setting aside your ego and seeing things from the standpoint of the customer.

Profit isn't easy, which is why most small businesses fail. Maximize your odds of success by, (1) getting training; (2) enlisting mentors; and (3) doing an apprenticeship by working in a business of the type you want to start. Most people who fail at business do so not because they are not smart or dedicated enough, but because they didn't lay a proper foundation or ask for help.

My Big Fat Vegan Kidney Donation

2011-04-29T22:26:11Z

"I had often thought when I encountered cruelty and neglect that there was a whole army of people who did these unspeakable things, a great, unheeding horde who never spared a thought for the feelings of the helpless creatures who depended on them. It was frightening in a way, but thank heavens there was another army ranged on the other side, an army who fought for the animals with everything they had – with their energy, their time, their money." – James Herriot

What’s the awesomest gift you can give someone? Their life back, right?

That’s what I had been thinking for a while. And so, I had been looking into donating a kidney. From my research I knew that the surgery was really safe (only 2/10,000 fatality rate, lower than for appendectomies), and that you can survive perfectly well with just one kidney. Really what you’re looking at is a bit of inconvenience in exchange for…saving someone’s life.

Sign me up!

My research eventually led me to a popular site called matchingdonors.com, and even though I knew what I was going to find there, I was NOT prepared. It’s like a dating site, except the personal ads are all from people begging you to save their lives by giving them a kidney. So it’s full of messages like:

“I’m 40 years old and want to live to see my kids grow up.”
“I’m 60 years old and hoping to live to attend my grandson’s graduation.”
“I’m 25 years old and just want the chance to live a normal life.”

Heartbreaking doesn’t begin to describe it. Most of these people were on dialysis, where, three times a week, you sit for hours hooked up to a machine that does the kidney-work of filtering out waste from your blood. Dialysis is, at best, a mixed blessing: it keeps you alive, but totally screws up your life and doesn’t even work all that well. Most dialysis patients are weak and sick all the time, and die within a few short years.

Once I saw the matching donors ads, I knew I would have to donate – how can you turn someone away when you’ve seen their face and heard their desperate story? In fact, I wished I had a thousand extra kidneys to donate. But I only had one, so how to choose?

Lots of the people self-identified as animal lovers, with some including photos of themselves with their companion animals in their ads. As a vegan and animal/veg activist I knew I would definitely want to donate to one of them. And then I came across an ad without a picture that included this text:

“I am a retired Veterinarian from Colorado. My wife and I started a no-kill animal shelter 20 years ago to give animals a second chance at life. I would like a second chance too. We have invested everything to help save the animals.”

My kidney starting singing sweet songs of love, having found its dream recipient. His name is Bill Suro, and the shelter he and his wife Nanci started in Denver is called MaxFund. They save sweeties like Millie, a dog who was found in New Mexico with anemia, a fused spine, grossly infected back feet, and BB shots embedded throughout her body. Many shelters would have euthanized her, but at Maxfund she got all the medical help she needed and is now whizzing around in a rollie cart!

So I called Bill and offered to donate. Then came a months-long battery of medical tests, including the ever-popular 24-hour urine collection, in which you get to pee into a giant bottle and then hand it over to some lucky nurse. Then we had some vegan drama: some of my urine levels were low according to the standards of traditional medicine. Dr. John J. Pippin from the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine to the rescue! He wrote a note to me, which I forwarded to the transplant center, explaining, “Since many vegans have lower (healthier) protein intake than omnivores, and NO animal protein intake, their GFRs [glomerular filtration rates, y'all -HR] will often be lower…vegetarian and vegan diets actually improve kidney function for patients with kidney disease.”

In November, I flew from Boston to the Medical College of Georgia in Augusta, where the transplant would take place. There, I met Bill and Nanci in person for the first time, which, as you can imagine, was intense. They were filled with gratitude and amazement bordering on shock, since only about a 100 people a year get a kidney donated by a stranger. So, for them, this was like winning some kind of super-lottery. I understood their gratitude but felt uncomfortable over it. For me, the donation really was an inconvenience as opposed to a major sacrifice – I honestly don’t know why more people don’t do it. Besides, I am profoundly grateful for their twenty years’ commitment to helping animals, which seems like a much bigger deal.

The operation – in which the surgeon laparoscopically “popped” out my kidney through a small incision – was a snap. (I have a 1.5″ scar above my navel, and 2 tiny satellite scars where they inserted the lights-and-camera action.) Afterwards, I was on an epidural for a day but after that never took any pain meds at all.

The main downside was a few weeks of inconvenience, as I mentioned earlier. Even though the surgery was minimally invasive, it does take time to recover. I needed to get a lot of rest and not lift heavy stuff for a while.

Healthwise, the main risk for the donor is hypertension, and the doctors also warn you against eating too much protein, which can strain the remaining kidney. Given that both conditions correlate with meat-eating - no problemo! Oh, and you’re limited to one alcoholic drink a day, which I guess for some people could be a hardship; and they also warn you against activities like contact sports that could damage the remaining kidney. (If I ever need a kidney myself, by the way, I move to the top of the wait list.)

I lost some income due to down time. But there were no medical or out-of-pocket expenses for me, as the recipient and his insurance pays for everything.

And Bill? The minute my kidney was in him, I am told, it started producing urine like a champ – and although the surgery and recovery are a lot harder for the recipient than the donor, he’s doing great. He recently wrote me that, “a bad day now is still better than a good day on dialysis.”

A lot of people look at you weird when you tell them you’re donating a kidney to a non-family member, just as they look at you weird when you tell them you’re vegan. In this society, unfortunately, you can ruin countless people’s lives running a corrupt investment fund and still meet with more social approval than if you try to lead a life of nonviolence and altruism. But we’re all working on that, right? So, just like with the veganism, I shout the donation out loud and proud.

I anticipated feeling great about having donated – and I do. (Research has shown that donors experience an uptick in self-esteem.) What I didn’t anticipate was that I would now have these two amazing people, Bill and Nanci, in my life. They have really taken pains to grow the connection, sending me letters, cards, local newspapers and even cherished family photos. What a gift. (And let me acknowledge the others whose love and support made the donation possible – especially my friend Deb, who, when I told her what I was doing, immediately volunteered to watch my dogs for weeks while I was away.)

As veg*ns, we all know that there is nothing more wonderful than saving a life. At the same time, I know that not everyone’s going to sign up to donate. If you’re one who might, that would be an amazing thing – and email me for info or support. In the U.S. alone, more than 6,000 people every year, or around 1 every 90 minutes, dies waiting for a kidney.

And if you can’t donate your kidney, at least donate some cash to Maxfund!

Sometimes, I find myself wondering what my kidney is up to at the moment. “I wonder if it’s walking by the pond.” “I wonder if it’s working at the vet clinic.” “I wonder if it’s watching bad tv.” I guess I’ve come to think of it as being like a dog I gave up for adoption. I don’t wonder if it’s happy, though, because I know that if any kidney is happy, mine is – having found its “Mr. Right,” an amazing being who shares its values and is committed to helping keep other amazing beings alive and happy.

Update: The above article was written in late 2009. I'm happy to report that at least one other person (another vegan) has donated a kidney as a direct result of reading it. I've also heard from many people who are donating to friends and family members that my article has helped encourage them, and eased their worries.

VegNews, Vegan Integrity and the Fate of a Vegan Whistleblower

2011-04-23T20:44:53Z

Blogger Quarrygirl recently published an expose showing that VegNews magazine was using stock photographs of meat and dairy dishes to illustrate articles about vegan food. In one case, the magazine actually photoshopped out the bones from a photo of spare ribs to make the dish look vegan.

While she has plenty of admirers, she also has detractors, many of who claim her expose is harmful to veganism – or, as it is often put, “doesn’t help the animals.” This saddens me, actually, because not only did she absolutely do the right thing, but if anyone hurt the cause it has been VegNews, which compounded its initial ethical blunders by justifying them with a breezy and unconcerned and (in the corporate-damage-control sense) incompetent, “Everyone does it.”

The issue is not, in fact, what “helps the animals,” but what “helps the movement,” which is a different thing. Movements involve strategy, and for strategies to be effective, they must be built on a strong and consistent moral framework. Moreover, every activist authority I know of talks about the crucial tactical importance of telling the truth. That truth may be a partial truth (as all truths necessarily are), or strategically framed, but it must, as presented, be unimpeachable, because otherwise you’ve not only damaged your credibility but given your opposition terrific ammunition. Here’s Peter Singer writing about famed animal activist Henry Spira in Ethics Into Action:

Never deceive the media or the public…Those who do this eventually lose credibility. Henry’s credibility is extraordinarily high, both within the animal movement and with its opponents, because he regards it as his most important asset. It is therefore never to be sacrificed for a short-term gain, no matter how tempting that may be at the time. (p. 187)

In fact, lies are what you hope the venal opposition will be forced to resort to, since they’re so easily shot down – particularly in the Internet age.

The truly valuable thing Quarrygirl did was prove that the vegan community has integrity, and that we are not so weak or authoritarian or cultlike that we cannot challenge the lies of our leaders. She also exposed lies that were not just wrong on their own merits (a violation of journalistic ethic as well as veganism), but that would have been exposed eventually, and probably in ways that would have done infinitely more harm.

I think (hope) that, over time, many of the people criticizing Quarrygirl will come to the conclusion that she was right to publish her expose after all. When they do, I hope they have the decency to say so with at least as much vehemence as they are currently condemning her.

The above post originally appeared on www.hillaryrettig.com. Hillary may be reached in the comments, below, or at hillaryrettig@yahoo.com. Hillary is author of The Lifelong Activist: How to Change the World Without Losing Your Way (Lantern Books, 2006), and the forthcoming The Seven Secrets of the Prolific: The Definitive Guide to Overcoming Procrastination, Perfectionism and Writer's Block (Infinite Art, Summer 2011).