Family Matters
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Trust Yourself!
by Janet Tubbs
ho do
you go to when you have a problem? Spouse? Parents?
Minister/priest/rabbi, friend, therapist, Dear Abby,
children, astrologer?
With so much
help available, why do so 
many people feel alone
and adrift as a parent and spouse? Could it be the number
of "experts" that are telling us one thing on
Monday and another on Tuesday, leaving the average person
more confused than ever?
Fifty years ago, there weren't the number of "experts" there are today who create a theory and promote it to millions of people via radio, television, videos, and newspapers. With so many conflicting ideas and so many vehicles for touting a new one, is it any wonder that people are unsure of their own skills and capabilities?
Adults used to rely on their own "gut feelings" when faced with having to make a decision, and once it was made, that was it. A mother knew she could rely on the experience of her mother or her mother's mother, all of whom lived in the same town, often the same street or house. In today's mobile society, many families are splintered, living on opposite sides of town, if not country.
New-found
freedom has fractured the
family unit, sometimes
irreparably, as many women have moved into the work force
and sacrificed the home life. Women should have every
opportunity to work, but neither parent should choose a
job over a child. Many women are discovering that home is
a good place to be after all and are leaving their office
jobs to be a full-time mother or to work out of their
home.
If you're like a lot of other mothers with full-time jobs outside the home, you may be plagued with self-doubts: Am I doing the right thing? Is the extra money worth it? Should I be at home with my children? Will they suffer if they're in day care twelve hours a day?
If you have
thoughts like these, 
it may be time to examine
your priorities. For women who are concerned their days
will be filled with incomprehensible toddler talk, be
assured that you'll soon be able to understand it, and be
around for their first word. Working from the home is a
growing cottage industry and one that provides many with
more than adequate income. These mothers say they have
the best of two worlds.
Often, a careful look at expenses will show that placing your child in a day care setting costs more than you make at your job. More than one mother has sighed in relief when shown these figures; it relieves her of the burden of quitting her job which may be seen as failure. Think of it as an experience.
Another sure
sign you're in the wrong job—regardless of what it
is or how great the salary—is if you don't 
want
to go to work and when you get there you a) feel like
crying and/or b) you keep telling yourself, "I've
got to get out of here." These may be the signs of
early depression and something deep inside is telling you
to get out. Trust yourself!
A few extra dollars a month isn't worth the stress a job might generate. Stress is known to knock out the immune system, leaving the entire body vulnerable to a host of problems, the most common among women being a yeast infection.
When you begin
to question your actions, something is telling yourself
to take a long, hard look at your life. Trust yourself!
Sometimes all it takes is a comment from a friend to
make you say, "Ah hah! So
that's the problem!" and start to make changes. It
can be an exciting revelation.
Do yourself and your family a favor. Believe in yourself. You will ultimately make the decisions that affect your environment and if you listen to the small, still voice within, you can't go wrong.
Trust me.
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Janet Tubbs is founder and president of Children’s Resource Center, in Scottsdale, Arizona. She is also one of the Founders of VegSource. Her column, Family Matters, is a regular feature of VegSource On-Line Magazine.
You can visit Janet's home page by clicking on this link: