Kids' Korner
“Give me your children until they’re seven and they will be mine.” |
"During the years of 7 to 14, children try their best to become individuals..." |
"If you hit your children, they will hit others." |
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The Impressionable Years
by Janet Tubbs
hen we look at a child under the age of seven, we see a
replica of his parents, a mirror of their language and mannerisms that
have become part of his personality during the formative years of birth
to seven. Everything you say or do is imitated by this huge sponge we
call a child. Nothing escapes him.
You’ve probably heard the saying: “Give me your children until they’re seven and they will be mine.” These years are the ones that form the personality, so it stands to reason that parents or care givers must be good role models.
Around the age of 7, children are dramatically transformed. They 
begin serious schooling and may
assert their independence by joining
or organizing a club which excludes
the opposite sex. Suddenly they find
things outside the home that are
exciting to them; they are beginning
to mature.
About this age, boys and girls suddenly seem to realize what “I” and “you” really mean and delight in becoming individuals instead of a mere reflection of their parents. This self-assertive attitude may cause problems in the family until everyone learns to cope with it or they outgrow it.
During the years of 7 to 14, children try their best to become individuals and if this isn’t allowed—and encouraged—they may well remain a mirror image of their parents, reflecting both the good and the bad.
Around the age of 14, they begins to seriously notice the opposite sex
and to make decisions that might affect the rest of their lives. This is a
difficult time for an adolescent as their hormones begin to kick in and
it changes their lives forever. They’re no longer your babies; they’re 
beginning to learn about the mysterious world of sex
and it’s a world you can’t enter. It’s a subject that is
constantly investigated through conversations with
friends and probably some forbidden magazines.
This is natural and a part of the growth process. If these periodic changes didn’t take place, children would have no interest in the outside world and would reject all new experiences and emotions.
Because children are such great imitators and learn from the authority figures that figure prominently in their lives consider this for a moment:
- If you swear at your children, they will use the same words in their play with friends or toys.
- If you hit your children, they will hit others.
- If you lie, they will too.
- If you steal, they probably will too.
- If you whine, they will too.
- If you are manipulator, they will think that’s how to get what they want.
- If you pretend you’re sick to get out of doing something, they will too. This may be the beginning of a lifelong habit of psychosomatic illness, so familiar to physicians.
- If you read books, they will too.
- If you show love and respect, they will too.
Children will do these things because they see the people they love and admire doing them. The only way to instill values, morals, and respect is to practice it so your children will want to be just like you.
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Janet Tubbs is founder and president of Children’s Resource Center, in Scottsdale, Arizona.
She is also one of the Founders of People for Children & Animals, Inc. Her column, Kids' Korner, is a regular feature of VegSource On-Line Magazine.
You can visit Janet's home page by clicking on this link: