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From: Callie (
Subject:         ohhhh thats a tough one to answer
Date: May 15, 2008 at 6:01 pm PST

In Reply to: today went much better, long with a ? on the end. posted by Saysfaa on May 14, 2008 at 7:16 pm:

My husband and I don't even agree on that one. I will go to my laundry building (other side of the patio) and let the dogs 'out' in the fenced yard in so doing ... and then when I come in I'll say "Who wants to come in with me?"

Usually Billy and Kee come in and Luna will look at me. I'll say "Stay out or come in? Your choice." My inflection goes up at the end -- it IS a question. Sometimes she stays out, sometimes she comes in. I live with her choice. But usually I'll say something like "Ok -- no barking then!"

She knows the drill -- she's cool outside UNLESS she barks. That's a one-way ticket inside.

This drives my husband crazy. He wants absolutes. No "choices" left to her. That's fine for him. I see her life as a series of choices, but SHE KNOWS (now -- she didn't before) that if she chooses wrong, she pays. If she chooses barking, she comes in. NOW.

I don't see the problem -- if she's been acceptable while I was out with her, I don't have a problem with her staying out. She stops and looks at me for MY approval, and that's her 'ticket' as far as I'm concerned.

Now ... for her to just decided she's not coming in? noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo way. Bad choice. Then I go after her.

Make sense?

I think it's a bit early to get 'grey' with Charlie to be honest. Right now I wouldn't give him ANY choices that might be wrong. Right now I'd keep things pretty black and white for him. "Let's go". He'll be fine with that. Later is time enough for 'choices' that he can screw up on. Make sense?

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