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From: Saysfaa (
Subject:         now he is growling at me
Date: May 13, 2008 at 8:09 pm PST

he still gives whatever it is, but not easily and each time is more of a confrontation.

He went most of a day without stealing anything, then sister in law came home and he reverted to how he was when I came... except in how he interacted with me... that started out fine and gradually deteriorated.

I hate this. I do not like being assertive. I believe I am playing the role convincingly anyway, but I shall be glad to go home to Chammy.

Now I'm worried that I shouldn't have started teaching him that I am alpha because I go home in 10 days, so where does that leave him? I don't know what to do. Maybe I am making things worse for him.

Sister in law says she did everything wrong with Ollie because she didn't know what she was doing. Talking with her, is seems she gets most of it now. About the only thing she doesn't get is she equates dealing with Charlie when the kids need something as choosing him over them, but she seemed to see the logic in letting the kids cry an extra five minuets for a few times to be consistant with Charlie so she doesn't have the problems with him all the time.

She said, she watches the Dog Whisperer and has learned a lot from that. She says she feels bad about not giving Charlie what he needs, but doesn't know what to do about it. It was a bad time to get a dog but they hadn't intended to get a dog then, he was basically dropped off on them. She says my brother in law really doesn't get it that dogs don't think like people. She gets frustrated when he undermines their goals for Charlie but she was watching the Dog Whisperer and lightbulbs went off. The show as about a cop, and Ceasar asked him if he ever asked a criminal to get in the car without expected him to obey. The cop said absolutely not, if I ask him to get in he WILL get in. Ceasar asked him to draw on his ability to project that. And the cop started crying. He said he didn't want to be that person in his home. My brother in law doesn't like to talk about work, he has said he doesn't like bringing it home.

She also said her mom is bad with Charlie in one way and her mother in law is bad with him in another way... her mom is very unassertive and ineffective and from watching them I think Charlie thinks it is a grand game. She said her mother in law is too assertive and among other things hits him and yells at him.

Sis works three days a week, when she is well. Her mom watches the kids two of those days and her inlaws the other day. She is listening to what I'm telling her, but it will be a month before she is able to drive, and probably that long before she can lift more than 5 pounds.

I didn't know all pieces. I wish I hadn't started working with him, but what do I do now? Is it better to keep going and then leave him or to back off now even though I'll be living here for seven more days?

I suggested doggie day care once or twice a week to get Charlie away from some of the instability. I am also going to rig up a short leash and keep him right next to me all the time unless someone has a better idea. I kept him on a short leash for a while today and he seemed happier, but I can't manage the long leash and the kids. But my sister in law will not be able to do that until she recovers her health (at the very least, a month).

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