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"One of my subordinates (call him "Joe") was what we would nowadays call "verbally challenged." Back then, he was just "not very smart."
Pedant’s
Progress
by Jean d'Isle
' 
’m convinced that within each of us there
lurks a pedant, ready to spring forth at the first
opportunity to humble some poor soul whose knowledge or
ability in some field is less than our own.
My personal pedantic affliction has always been in the area of written and spoken English, where I rarely pass up a chance to correct the grammar, spelling, pronunciation or syntax of someone’s written or spoken words. The method of correction may be overt and confrontational or low-key and constructive. I have been guilty of both approaches.
Without delving too deeply into the psychology of pedantic behavior, I suspect it has as its basis the need to bolster one’s self esteem at the expense of another.
In a military hierarchy, particularly at the officer level, where communication skills are constantly under scrutiny, a document that works its way from originator to releaser may pass through many levels, as each reviewer reads, modifies, and accepts responsibility for the contents and sends it to the next echelon. This process tends to bring out the pedant in the best of us.
A person who ostentatiously takes on the role of the pedant, leaves himself limited wiggle room when he commits his own inevitable errors (glass-house-and-stones syndrome). If I may illustrate:
A few years ago (has it been almost 20?), as a member of a large naval staff in London, I had several officers working under me whose job required that they draft messages, letters, memoranda, etc. which received wide dissemination, and which (we were reminded not infrequently) reflected on the competency and professionalism of "The Admiral" himself. One of my subordinates (call him "Joe") was what we would nowadays call "verbally challenged." Back then, he was just "not very smart."
Joe was a Lieutenant Commander (O-4) and the master of malaprops, mixed metaphors and all conceivable ways to mangle the English language. He once brought me a leave request which had, as the reason for leave, "Whales." A kinder, gentler boss would have changed it to "Wales," and let it go; but I scribbled "Let us know if you see any."(In defense, all I can say is that everything he wrote had to be rewritten, and he easily breached my laissez faire threshold).
One day, Joe had to counsel his secretary for her poor performance and I was interested in how well she took the criticism. "Well," Joe told me, "After I got through chewing her out, she walked out with ruffled feathers between her legs." I have to admit, in that mixed metaphor he eloquently captured the image of an angry person who had just been chastised. I did manage to keep a straight face until he left my office.
Returning to the central point of my story -- One day a particularly difficult message had to be drafted advising Commander Sixth Fleet that his request for additional temporary personnel to man his shipboard communications center was denied. One does not say "no" to a Four-Star Admiral, especially a Fleet Commander, without great care. There are ways to say "no" and there are ways to say "no", and it fell to me to write this Friday night, high priority message.
After many drafts, I finally put together the following weasel-worded message: "REGRET LIMITED PERSONNEL RESOURCES DO NOT AUGER WELL FOR ADDITIONAL MANNING AT THIS TIME." -- much more acceptable than a flat "no".
Rather pleased with myself for this diplomatic word-smithing, I was not surprised the following Monday to see a copy of the transmitted message in my in-box, with red writing all over it (red pens were exclusively for notes from the "Big Guy" himself). If there are any genuine pedants out there, you might already have guessed what the Admiral’s note said. If you’re a wannabe pedant, go back and read the message.
As I prepared to savor the accolades in the Admiral’s note, Joe stuck his head in. "Read the Admiral’s note yet?" "Not yet," I said, wondering what Joe’s interest was.
As he left, I read these never-to-be-forgotten words: "If you’re going to use esoteric words, learn how to spell them. A God d*mn auger is a drill."
Was that the sound of glass breaking?
Lessons learned: 1) If you tend to be pedantic, be kind to those whom you would correct, for eventually you will surely err, and publicly; and 2) "If you’re going to use esoteric words, learn how to spell them" or, as Joe might say, "You’ll wind up with egg all over your foot."
__________________________________________________
Jean
d'Isle is a retired naval officer living
in Hawaii.
During his
military career he served in a number of overseas
assignments, including Germany, England, Spain, Viet Nam
and Puerto Rico. Following his retirement, he was an
adjunct faculty member of Hawaii Pacific University and
is currently under contract with the U.S. Navy at the
submarine base in Pearl Harbor.
Jean's column, View From d'Isle, is a regular feature of VegSource On-Line Magazine.